Goldposts - The best of Punt Road End

[YinnarTiger]

On Sidebottom, why the hell would he want to leave Collingwood?

Well with *smile*, Ball and Goldsack I can think of many reasons why a Bottom would be a bit apprehensive. At Tigers he'd only have to contend with Crotch.

 

[Dyer Disciple]

They share more than a name. Considering current events and the plight of the two right now...very funny work by ToO.

What goes around comes around..

 

[Phar Ace]

If all the villages in the world cast out their village idiots, and all those village idiots formed their own village, then within that village Patrick Smith would be the village idiot.

That, Mr Contractions, is what is called a Gold Post :clap

 

[Tigers of Old]

Tottie's summation of the much maligned Footy Classified..

That show has an mildly amusing formula.

Hutchy always starts with a news flash about how he has it on good authority that drugs are freely available in Ben Cousins' postcode.

Then he and Lyon settle into a round of pushing their matesy agendas. I'll say nice things about Melbourne if you say nice things about Crocmedia and pump up Damien Barrett's tyres, he's an award-winning journalist, don't you know, and we'll both say nice things about North because Brayshaw always backs us up and says nice things about us and then we'll all gush over Collingwood so Eddie will love us and he'll say nice things too about us too, isn't it great to have mates?

Caro never says anything nice about Melbourne or Hutchy's business interests, or North, or Collingwood or anyone else for that matter so they are forever trying to attack her and her club, which she never says anything nice about either. This is comical in itself, given that neither of them has any hope of formulating a cogent argument so they just raise their voices and talk over the top for awhile.

Then they get stuck into Cousins again, while Grant Thomas bites his tongue and looks bemused.

Every now and again they try to fling some mud in his direction but he just flicks it away with a glib comeback and another dark bully-boy stare, leaving Hutchy quaking in his boots.

Then a guest comes on and wonders why on earth he agreed to talk to these bozoes, especially as they only ask questions about Ben Cousins.

Finally, it's time for "Good Call, Bad Call."

Hutchy, you should lay off Ben Cousins for a few minutes.

Bad call, drug-addled call, what would I talk about then call?

 

[Feeling Tigerish]

Tottie's summation of the much maligned Footy Classified..

brilliant

 

[Tigers of Old]

Scribblar from the 'Favourite play of the year' thread.

When Dusty did a straight arm "don't argue' into the chest of an Adelaide tall timber and I thought it surely must have killed him. Or at least stopped his heart!

This was not one of Dusty's swipe aways, this was like when the Knights of Medieval times rode at each other while using jousting poles.

Nice analogy regarding young Dustin Martin's already famous fend.

 

[Djevv]

One very reliable source on a famous footy site (It was 24/7masturbium89 on bigfooty) assures us that:
XU1ZP23 >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> CPU239X

Jack from the Collins/Grigg thread on why the CPU238X for XU1ZP23 trade should go ahead!

 

[Tigers of Old]

We think everybody is a dud. The only exception to this rule is any player drafted immediately after our pick.

 

[KnightersRevenge]

Might be the good justice's first nomination here, I liked it;

How Bizarre...I was at Pyramid Rock and found a Carlton Salary Cap - it had never been used!

oh....and here is the context;

......
My son found a signed tigers cap on the ground at Pyramid Rock on New Year's Eve, it has three signatures on each side of the bill, the one of the left on top is definitely Jason Torney's signature.
.......

 

[Tigers of Old]

Brisvegas's quip about Mitch Keddell's chances of gaining the last remaining rookie spot.

If Keddell gets the nod, his nickname would have to be 'Bradbury'

:hihi

 

[marella jube]

One of the joys of demoralising the opposition that Richmond fans tend to forget about is the privilege of slandering the defeated.

Let's make up for that now. I'll tell you a story.

It was a few years back. I was sitting on my third son's bed with my ex-wife. The western sun invaded through the even blinds. The TV blinked Fremantle. Tips were logged and central to social order.

I shoulld tell you a few things about my ex-wife. She's a poor girl. A natural beauty with an IQ of root Pi to the power of a thousand. And grace? When she walks through Safeway Fruit'nVeg all the pumpkins turn into golden carriages. Oh. And she's a great judege of men - hence my departure. And she tipped Freo that day.

Anyways Pavlich is lining up for goal, to win the match after the siren and she point blank calls him. Can't kick it. A sheila.

Well whoa. The bloke was in great nick at the time and making a fist of working for a living. And I stuck up for him. He missed. She did not gloat. Simply turned a rat into a chestnut stallion with a star and four white socks (missed me by a whisker, I swear).

And I remembered the rule: if a sheila calls you a sheila you aint nuthen else.

Pavlich was disgraceful this arvo. Sagged forward of the ball (all 105kgs of him). Gave nothing when it mattered. Not once did the thought of laying down the law occur to him - he's 105kgs.

Fiora was better than Pavlich because at least you could get rid of him.

On life, I'll always be grateful that a sheila taught me what a sheila Matthew Pavlich is.

Joke time: If Matthew Pavlich had a twin it would be an epidemic. One only is a disease. And the Pav is a big meringue.

Seriously? How good was the Chimp? Oh yeah. And we were impressive.

Wonderful writing , JD...

 

[Lidsand]

he should have his own thread. for a bunch of random unstructured sentences he always seems to get his point across with comedic style and flair. great way of writing that somehow tells a story

 

[Tigerfan]

Reply #22 on: June 14, 2006, 02:13:59 pm »

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Back in Spud's day he stacked on a turn when a zoom lens was used to pick up what was written on a whiteboard at training. Something about it being good to take a mark in the corridor inside forward 50.

Not surprisingly we paid Frawley hundreds of thousands of dollars per annum so that he might pass on these unique insights into football wisdom to our players.

They never forgot either, as the whiteboard Checkside saw still bears this message due to Spud using a permanent marker.

This is a ripper by Ready (hasn't been seen in a while) One of the cleverest posts I've read.
It was lampooning Spud because Wallace was the new messiah. That blew over.

 

[Dyer'ere]

Thank you, gentlemen. I was hoping somebody might like that. And surprised. :happy

And how much fun is it besmirching the character of our fallen foes?

Oh please, God, give us Carlton.


And DDT, Ready worked in . . . Armadale? Yeah. Whatever happened to? The monstrous tiger eating a carrot.

 

[Tigerfan]

he should have his own thread. for a bunch of random unstructured sentences he always seems to get his point across with comedic style and flair. great way of writing that somehow tells a story

Yes. I took the time once to click on Dyer's profile and read all his posts, as far back as i could. I recall I followed it up with Slaughterhouse 5 by Vonnegut. I guess exams were looming large at the time.

Don't go changing Dyer!

 

[Dyer'ere]

Ta, DDT. I saw that movie when I was . . . checks IMDB . . . Sheisen - thirteen. Read the book at fifteen. Fast and loose. That's the style.

I had a story for each of my five sons. About their birth. They were all adopted. Lol. Anyways, son two was born on Tralfamadore.

Just on Ready's avatar, which was in its way a goldpost, the tiger was not just monstrous. He was refined. Hyper masculine like a super macho Saudi sheik educated at Oxford.

Let our boys play like that.

 

[Tigers of Old]

Another classic from wayne after another Dusty signature against the Lions...

Sung by Josh Drummond


And can you tell me, doctor, why I still can't get to sleep?
And why my chest still hurts like hell, from the game on June 18?
And what's this handprint that comes and goes, can you tell me what it means?
God help me, he was only ninteen.

 

[Tigers of Old]

Spook's assessment of the AFL umpires boss's review of last weekend's contentious decisions.

Gieschen could explain away the Holocaust.

 

[YinnarTiger]

On another note, didn't realise every post has to be intelligent to make a point. Sorry for once again not posting up to your standards.

If that is the standard that we will all be held to, then footy fan forums will become very lonely places. There have only ever been three posts in the entire history of the internet that were intelligent, and two of them were posted by nuffies in an extreme state of inebriation. The third was a no-brainer.

 

[LeeToRainesToRoach]

Classic from GhostBarrel on how the AFL's corrupt tentacles ensnared Jake King.

AFL Official:  G'day Phil, how are you feeling after the loss?
Phil Harper:  Not too flash mate, but not as bad as Andy Ottens
AFL Official: Why?  What's wrong with him?
Phil:  Got hurt in a sling tackle by that thug Jake King - Definitely concussion from JK picking him up and pile driving him head first into the ground
AFL Official:  Didn't catch that on the video
Phil:  No worries - Got it on my iPhone, iPad, HP TouchPad, BlackBerry, and I've posted it up to YouTube as well.... And now I've sent it to you
AFL Official:  Thanks Phil.  Much appreciated.  Gotta suspend JK for multiple weeks so he is unavailable against Carlton next year round one so this will be perfect
Phil:  Glad to help.  By the way are you coming to the AFC special supporters BBQ?
AFL Official:  Nah - Wouldn't look too flash - Especially after we cite JK
Phil:  There's strippers...
AFL Official:  Oh! Well...