Goldposts - The best of Punt Road End

[Djevv]

A very funny post from Phil in the aftermath of our loss to GC. Made all the more real by Waynes photos of his smashed up room.

Harvey Norman would be rapt with their Ruchmond sponsorship...would be plenty of Tiger supporters buying new TVs today.

 

[Tigers of Old]

Jukes on Mick Malthouse putting Wallet's name forward for the Port Adelaide coaching job. ;D

Wallace has already put a 5 year plan on the table. :hihi

 

[Ian4]

In regards to the article about Gillon McLachlan potentially going to the NRL

Please take Demetriou and Anderson.

They willl earn you lots more money through TV rights and also expand your league into Rugby League Heartlands like Perth and Geelong.
Gary Ablett will return to Geelong to play League as will Chris Judd for the Perth team for a salary of 2 mill each per year. They will pick up the game fast and will be well worth the dollars in marketing and fan conversion.
D and A will fix up the problem with the scrum and make a raft of beneficial changes to the rules, and their interpretation, by appointing someone with incredible nouse for the game.
Don't forget how much money the League will make.
The meatheads in League will love the three strikes hush hush and sweep it under the carpet illicit drugs policy, allowing them to still go on benders but not get outed. No one need ever know when a big name player has had three, four or even five strikes. They have a way of keeping it stum and still looking squeaky clean. Your league party boys will love it.
Criticism of League will cease as they put a stranglehold on rabid journos. Dissent from within clubs and coaches will decrease, generating extra revenue for League coffers and silencing critics at the same time.
D and A will increase attendances with themed rounds such as Lost and Found Round or the nostalgic Chuck a Tinnie for Old Time Round. Again, think of all the extra money.
Impact injuries to players will become almost non existent as the game becomes quicker and tackling outlawed. Touch football rules will be implemented to limit League liability and for the sake of the players. Don't worry about fan backlash, these boys hides are as thick as Rhinos and have a proven track record of ignoring the fans and still making shedloads of money, which is what it is all about. Right?

Forget McLachlan.
I commend to you Andrew Demetriou and Adrian Anderson. Just look at the success of the AFL under their magnificent reign. Did I mention the money, how much Rugby League will make.

So how about it?

Please?

 

[Ian4]

I equate having Hardwick as Richmond coach to my love life. My girlfriend if 145 kilo's dripping wet with a head that looks great in a paper bag. She's loyal like a dog and cooks a mean boiled egg. She's also as creative as a dog.

Now if Jennifer Hawkins comes knocking on my door, is available and says she wants to coach me with promises of happy endings in September what I am supposed to do???

Stay with the paper bag job for the next 12 months or see if the grass is greener on the other side of the fence with Jennifer hawkins sharing my caravan!!!!!

:rofl

 

[billyb#40]

Mick on Terry Wallace
"He's right over the top of the game, he's been watching the game, I see Terry time and time [and] I know he's got a hold of the game," Malthouse said.

"He thinks about it very much like I would in terms of playing to players' strengths … he won multiple best and fairest at two clubs, played a lot of finals football, got his team into the finals on a regular basis.

"To me he's the sort of bloke who I reckon would bring discipline, a little bit of flair where needed, he's a person that actually players like … by and large you hear a lot of good stuff about Terry Wallace."

Got his team into the finals on a regular basis my ass
7 finals games for two wins and the last time in 2000, Mick just wants an easy win every time he coaches against Port
Left two clubs spiraling down and four top eight finishes in 12 years.
But who would want to coach them, Scott missed a bullet when they chose Primus.

 

[SfB_AkA._DeLiCiOuS]

:rofl

That is quality.

 

[Total Tiger]

A pearler on the Carlton coaching selection process:

Moving right along.

It is time for Carlton to pretend to go through the Process of selecting a coach. There will be a lengthy series of secret meetings, power-point presentations and heart-felt discussions that will continue deep into the night as they set about the task of unearthing their next coach.

They will begin by making out like they are going to form a Sub-committee. They will sound out the usual suspects and serial committee pests like David Parkin and Robert Walls, to attend phantom meetings at secret venues owned by Bruce Matheson. Generally, these will be held on “Parma and a Pot” night. These Carlton greats will also add legitimacy to the Process, simply by talking about it in the media at every opportunity.

After a week or so, someone in the office will be asked to Google the “How to appoint an AFL Coach” checklist that can be found on the Internet, download it and leak a copy to Blobbo who will dedicate a Herald-Sun back-page to his latest foray into “Investigative Journalism.” This article will be about how Carlton will leave no stone unturned in their quest to appoint the very best available person.

The sub-committee will then appoint a Corporate Human Resources specialist like Ricky Nixon to conduct interviews with all the prospective Assistant Coaches and Gary Ayres. Once these have been completed, the Sub-committee will adjourn to another secret venue, most likely on the Gold Coast, to tackle the difficult task of whittling the applicants down to a short list. They will then file all applications in the round filing cabinet and get on with the real business of the meeting.

The Process will be exhaustive, leading to the obligatory second round of interviews, along with extensive Psychological testing, Mathematical Awareness Testing, Media Management and a Cocktail Mixing course. The early favourite for the venue is a private little island on the Whitsundays.

There will be a dramatic development when the media find out that Stephen Kernahan is flying to Perth in an eleventh-hour bid to ascertain whether Ross Lyon is interested in breaking another contract. Roosy will go too, just to catch up with Rossy. Jeanie will go as well, so she can flirt with Roosy.

During Grand Final week, the sub-committee will meet at the Bellagio Hotel in Las Vegas. At the end of this meeting, they will have a name to recommend to the Full Board, along with the names and phone numbers of several cocktail waitresses.

Then they will schedule an Emergency Meeting of the Full Board, at the Palace at Versailles in Paris to ratify their decision, probably during Week Ten of Trade Week. As every traveller knows, that is the time of year when those extraordinary gardens are at their best.

They will then return to Melbourne and appoint Mick Malthouse on the following Wednesday in a low-key Media Conference in a classy setting like the Windsor.

All sorted.

 

[Rosy]

Jukes Extended brings out the heavy artillery :hihi

It's done, I don't pay attention to what women think when sports is concerned anyway.

 

[SfB_AkA._DeLiCiOuS]

Jukes Extended brings out the heavy artillery :hihi

 

[Tigers of Old]

Nice emoticon.

 

[tbartiger]

Don't think many parents would allow a 10yo to go to the footy on their own these days.

I would if my 10yo was a Carlton supporter.

:rofl

 

[Tigers of Old]

PT's awesome POTY award aside, this is post of the month for mine.

There is nothing happening to Port Adelaide that hasn't happened to Richmond already- no money, no-one wants to coach them, players deserting the ship, we've probably seen it three times in the last 30 years. We had to suck it up and keep struggling against the odds- and are still doing exactly that, by the way. Melbourne has been a basket-case since they sacked Norm Smith in the 1960s. How many wooden spoons have St Kilda won in the last 40 years? How many finals appearances have the Bulldogs had since their one measly flag?

When did it become a rule of the AFL that Interstate clubs must be powerful most of the time? If Port Adelaide stuff up, are raided and fall to the bottom for an extended period, so what? Welcome to our world.

Richmond can't rise unless others fall.

 

[marsinvenus]

PT's awesome POTY award aside, this is post of the month for mine.

X 2

 

[Dyer'ere]

The brilliant Goldsmith -

Once upon a time there was this country where all the people were sports-mad. They loved their Soccer, their Rugby, their Cricket, their Golf, their Tennis, even their Basketball. They loved sports that were played in other countries, like Baseball, EPL and that funny game that their American cousins enjoyed so much with the big men in the funny helmets and the thousands of advertisements for viagra and beer. They even loved Netball and horse racing.

The sport that the fine citizens of this ancient country loved the most was, of course, their indigenous game, the one they all grew up calling Football. They loved this sport so much that for six months of the year they played it, watched it being played, read about it being played, jumped on the Internet and discussed it being played, talked about it at work and obsessed about it. They loved it so much that they even built great stadiums where they could gather together to worship it. They loved it so much that they formed a commission and charged it with the important task of improving their sport and making it even better.

This commission, in their wisdom, decided that what they really needed to do was protect this sport from all the other sports, all of which they thought were mean-spirited and jealous of their position. In this way, the voracious beast known as the AFL was born.

It wasn't long before all the other sports that competed with the beast were marginalised and reduced to side-shows. They stole their players, they drove them to the smaller stadiums, they banished them from the pages of the their daily newspapers. Soon, AFL was the only game in town. Almost. There was one exception. Only one.

The Melbourne Cup!

Yes, that famous old horse-race that stopped a nation. For four weeks, from the beast's Grand Final until the first Tuesday in November, the Melbourne Cup became the darling of this mythical country. The people wore their Sunday best on Saturdays and drank copious amounts of alcohol. They returned to the traditional form of gambling, betting on horses rather than on football games. They discussed horse-flesh and fashions instead of marks and hamstrings. For four weeks, AFL was barely in the newspapers.

The commission was a-flutter. What can we do to stop this ridiculous horse-race, they wondered? How can we reclaim our rightful place in the hearts and minds of the people?

Finally, in one glorious moment of divine inspiration, a nameless flunky at head office had his "a-ha" moment.

"A-ha" he said. " Let's extend Trade Week to four weeks and deal the fatal blow to that annoying horse-race.

And so it came to pass that the people, bored to the verge of insanity by this abomination, started making up all sorts of rumours and stories, just to pass the time of day while they waited for the next trade, should it ever come.

 

[Dyer'ere]

Gawd, I 'ad a larf. jdb and Bustin Dustin on Rockin Robin Nahas:

...still has room for improvement ...

Yeah and my 90 year old grandfather has a very high sperm count.

 

[Jimmy_12]

If the Crows are not allowed into the draft, I wonder how that will impact on picks they may have traded (specifically, might this risk the Graham trade & pick exchange)?

Ideally we keep 40 and we get The Gus Bus back. We need a mature backup ruckman now that we've got rid of Angus Graham.

Classic. :hihi

 

[Tony Braxton-Hicks]

After a year of building up to it, Baloo finally delivers the punchline to his Gus Bus routine in the Andy Collins thread...

What is it with people wanting to hold onto, or get back, players who are at best average.

A genius at work.

 

[Tigers of Old]

Is Jack in Tassie?

I don't know, but I assume Jason Gram will be soon.

Apparently he has been chasing a map of the joint.

In the wake of Gram being sacked from the Saints after stalking allegations against his ex.

 

[TOT70]

there is a huge difference between not having winning as your no1 priority and having not winning as your no1 priority.

Nice one from Brodders on the tanking debate. What a difference the placement of one small word can make.

 

[spook]

Simple, yet brilliant and utterly telling.