Goldposts - The best of Punt Road End

[Tigers of Old]

Depressing yet amusing at the same time.
Some of your better work James Brown.

. That Nathan Brown would break his leg at the peak of his powers
. That Graham Polak would be hit by a tram
. That Travis Casserly would succumb to recurring injuries
. That Kane Johnson would lose 3 yards of pace by driving from Adelaide to Melbourne
. That Matthew Pavlich would turn out a better footballer than Aaron Fiora
. That a loose checking skill deficient half bank flanker from the Bulldogs was not worth pick 19 in the national draft
. That Lance Franklin would turn out to be a bona fide gun
. That a pick 8 in the national draft, JON, would be devoid of any of the qualities required to play AFL football
. That the next half dozen players taken after said pick 8 would all turn out to be good AFL footballers
. That the 2001 National Draft would turn out to be a Super draft, a draft in which we drafted David Rodan, Adam Houlihan and re-drafted Chris Hyde
. That Paul Hudson would not be the small forward we were craving to have a tilt at the flag
. That Shane Edwards couldn’t kick
. That Danny Meyer couldn’t get the ball more than 10 times in a game
. That Daniel Jackson would one day be one of Richmond’s prime on ballers
. That our best player in 1995 remains our best player in 2009
. That Cleve Hughes’ off field abilities were far greater than his on field ones
. That Cogs would slip in the shower
. That Cousins would tear a hamstring on debut
. That Tom Hislop was endowed with treacle like pace and had no other obvious attributes
. That Adam Thomson was a better lead singer of Chocolate Starfish than an AFL player
. That Patrick Bowden would only ever be good for picking up uncontested possessions across half back
. That Tim Flemming, Billy Nicholls and Simon Fletcher were not the astute recruiting decisions the club made out
. That Ben Marsh was a limited ruckman who had failed previously in the AFL
. That Trent Knobel would only be good enough to play 21 games for Richmond after being flicked from two previous clubs and was effectively Ben Marsh re-incarnated
. That Alex Gilmour’s interests lay away from the playing field
. That Thomas Roach was a Roach in name only
. That Shane Morrison was not Jonathon Brown mark II
. That Luke Weller was not Mal Michael
. That key position/ruck prospect Adam Pattison could not take an overhead or contested mark
. That Carl Peterson’s one highlight highlight reel was enough to warrant drafting
. That Dean Polo’s best ever AFL game would be his first
. That 3 picks in the National Drafts of 2005, 2007 and 2008 would be insufficient
. That Mark Graham would only last one more year in the AFL
. That Kent Kingsley wouldn’t be able to re-produce his Geelong VFL form at AFL level
. That the Terry Wallace we saw in a “Year of the Dog” would never be seen again
. That returning injured players to the field only exacerbated their injury
. That Brian Royal would fail to have a positive influence at his 4th AFL coaching assistant gig
. That Francis Jackson hasn’t forgive the club for being traded to South Melbourne
. That we allowed a slimy, dodgy, crooked non Richmond person to be the President of our club for 4 years
. That Craig Cameron, who pieced together the wooden spoon winning Dees list hasn’t turned out to be quite the messiah we hoped
. That Greg Miller, ditto Craig Cameron, would raise the hopes of supporters on only two days of his tenure – his first and last days.

 

[davidrodan]

I know it's not on PRE but go to Yobbo's chat on 'Dead men coaching'
then find the posts at 2:19 and again at 2:23

was crying it was that funny (mainly cause it wasn't expected) :rofl

You can guess who it is just by reading the post ;D

 

[Dyer Disciple]

Great one liner from Total Tiger in response to Sheedy saying we could have our best 9th place finish ever in 2009.

Maybe we could have a function to unveil our ninth-placed team of the century.

 

[BrisTiger24]

Well done to GPB...one of the most entertaining and thought out posts on PRE ever :clap

IN THE SUPREME COURT OF VICTORIA
AT MELBOURNE

COMMON LAW DIVISION
2009 No.

BETWEEN –
JOHN EDWARD SMITH
Plaintiff
and
RICHMOND FOOTBALL CLUB LTD
Defendant

STATEMENT OF CLAIM
Date of Document: May 2009
Filed on behalf of: The Plaintiff
Prepared by:
SUE, GRABITT & RUN

Solicitors Code: 12345
Lawyers & Consultants DX: 123
William Street Chambers Tel: 9679 1234
206 William Street Fax: 9679 1233
Melbourne Vic 3000 Ref: Mr Run

1. The plaintiff is and was at all relevant times a member of the Richmond Football Club.

2. The plaintiff sues on his own behalf and on behalf of those classes of persons who in
reliance on the representations alleged herein –
(a) purchased memberships of the Richmond Football Club;
(b) purchased Richmond Football Club merchandise;
(c) attended matches in which the Richmond Football Club has played and incurred
expense in connection therewith; and
(d) placed wagers with the TAB, corporate bookmakers such as Betfair and
Sportingbet, and other bookmakers.

3. The defendant is and was at all relevant times –
2
(a) a duly registered corporation;
(b) the operator of the Richmond Football Club (“the Tigers”);
(c) a member of the Australian Football League (“AFL”);
(d) engaged in trade and commerce; and
(e) a trading corporation for the purposes of the Trade Practices Act 1974 (“the Act”).

4. At all relevant times the defendant employed Terry Wallace (“Wallace”) as its coach.

5. At about the commencement of the 2009 AFL Premiership home and away football
season the defendant made the following representations (“the representations”) in
trade or commerce –
(a) Wallace’s position as coach was safe for the 2009 season;
(b) Richmond had set itself to play in the finals in 2009;
(c) the Tigers were ready to break a finals drought which had stretched from 2001;
(d) Richmond would play the sort of football it played at the end of 2008;
(e) Ben Cousins was mentally and physically fit for his AFL comeback;
(f) Ben Cousins’s history of substance abuse would not have any impact in terms of
fatiguing or causing extra problems;
(g) Richmond Football Club would put on a great display for its supporters in 2009;
(h) Richmond would finish higher on the ladder than it did in 2008; and
(i) in 2009 the Tigers would improve at all levels.

6. Each of the representations related to a future matter.

7. The plaintiff relies upon s 51A of the Act and says that the defendant had no reasonable
grounds for making the representations.

8. In reliance on the representations and induced thereby the plaintiff and the members of
the classes alleged in paragraph 2 hereof –
(a) purchased memberships of the Richmond Football Club;
(b) purchased football cards;
(c) purchased Richmond Football Club team posters;
(d) Purchased other merchandise, such as Richmond guernseys and fridge magnets;
3
(e) attended matches in which the Richmond Football Club has played and incurred
expenses in connection therewith; and
(f) placed wagers with the TAB, corporate bookmakers such as Betfair and
Sportingbet, and other bookmakers in connection with the results of AFL
matches involving Richmond.

9. In consequence of the foregoing, the plaintiff and the classes referred to in paragraph 2
hereof have suffered loss and damage.
Particulars
(a) Cost of memberships.
(b) Cost of merchandise, such as football cards, team posters and fridge magnets.
(c) Cost of attending matches and incidental expenses incurred in connection
therewith, including train fares, donations to the Salvation Army, purchase of
Richmond Cheer Squad raffle tickets, Herald Sun newspaper, Football Record,
pies, chips and beer.
(d) The lost opportunity to place winning bets at the TAB and with bookmakers in
connection with AFL games.
AND THE PLAINTIFF CLAIMS –
A. Damages.
B. Interest.
C. Costs.
………………………………..
Solicitors for the Plaintiff
INDORSED ON THE WRIT

 

[Ian4]

Well done to GPB...one of the most entertaining and thought out posts on PRE ever :clap

very good. we should turn it into a class action

 

[Tigers of Old]

Better dust off the cobwebs for this bit of PREcomedic genius, Tottie's take on the tank.

Welcome to Subiaco oval for the big round 22 clash between the West Coast Eagles and the Tigers. Your commentators this afternoon are Bruce McAvaney, Dennis Cometti and myself, the Big Ox. Both teams are locked on four wins for the season each and are looking to finish the year off in style.

Its fair to say, Ox, that both teams went into the season optimistically, but are finishing it off misty, optically.

Fair enough, Dennis. I’ll think that’s funny when I get it tomorrow morning. The umpires are dressed in their polka dot outfits today, Bruce. This is, of course, Bozo Round, celebrating the great contributions made by all the clowns who sit on the various AFL committees.

Ox, this is the first time in the history of any sport outside of the Tour de France that an athlete, or official, or supporter for that matter, has worn a polka dot outfit. That will go around the world on CNN.

Here we go. Umpire Ray Ray holds the ball aloft to signal the start of the big game. The timekeepers ring the bell and Ray Ray pounds the pill into the turf. It rises upright, defying gravity for a moment until the irresistible pull brings it back.

I’m excited, Ox. Are you as excited as I am?

Hey, where are the ruckmen? Aren’t they supposed to be here to contest this bounce? In fact where are any of the players? What’s going on? I’m so confused.

There’s a bit of activity in the Richmond goal-square. Looks like the boys have started up a game of poker. This could get interesting. Richo has pocket aces, his eyes lit up like Paris Hilton spotting a waterbed when he peeked at his cards. Only problem is, the Big Q has the same thing. Richo thinks he’s part of the Yoko Ono fan club but little does he know.

It’s like Ben Johnson and Carl Lewis in the 100m final at Seoul all over again.

What’s happening on the wing, boys? Looks like Ben Cousins and Andrew Embley are choosing teams. Cuz has a Cricket Bat under his arm and Embley has a tennis ball. Starting up a game of French Cricket, I’d say. Deledio first picked, then Hurn. Yep, definitely French Cricket.

Ox, the last time French Cricket was played an Australian arena was on the MCG in 1956, when the Belgian Olympic team had a training run on the hallowed turf. It’s been a long time. Its happening now, though. Special!

Let’s hang around to see who is the last one picked. Just as I thought, Jordan McMahon. You get the feeling that this game is going to come down to the last McMahon standing!

Looks like there’s been some controversy on the West Coast interchange bench. Over to our boundary rider, Ricky Olarenshaw.

Ox, I seen it, but I don’t believe it. The West Coast boys got a bit bored watching the game so they sent one of the assistant coaches to the Bar to get them some beers. He came back with four cups in one of those cardboard holders and placed the four beers on the massage table, in a line. Then Jake King, sprinted over from the Tigers bench, jumped up on the table and kicked them all off, before running away, laughing and shouting maniacally: “I’ll take youse all on, I’ll take youse all on.”

That was exquisite, simply exquisite. Little Jakie King is one of my very favourite players. He’s simply exquisite.

He had less room than Ralph Fiennes in an aeroplane bathroom to execute that manouvre.

What a game! It looks like the Indiginous boys have made a camp-fire in the other goal-square and are toasting marshmallows.

They remind me of Cathy Freeman at the 2000 Olympics when she sat down after winning the 400 metres. What a legend, what a champion!

Does anyone know why the Selwood boys have that cake tin?

Mrs Selwood baked a lovely cake for the boys to enjoy at half-time. Delicious…………

 

[davidrodan]

A gold post from BrisTiger24 comparing Jade the Blade and Tezza on the on the 'Jade making Terry look like a fool thread'

Let's face it, all Jade would need to do is turn up at the presser and fart into the microphones and he'd make Terry look like a fool...for the simple reason that Terry does a lot to make himself look like a fool.

 

[Tigers of Old]

Dyer'ere's take on Jade the Blade Rawlings..

I reckon there's a bit of Boy Named Sue going on with Jade. It's like his parents gave him a girl's name so he'd grow up into a bastard. Not enough boys getting girls names and growing up right IMO. Well done Mr and Mrs Rawlings. You should be proud.

My only regret with Jade is that they didn't name him Melissa.

:hihi

and on Jordan McMahon

Where does Jordon fit in all this?

Jordan doesn't fit in. He is fitted into.

:rofl

http://www.puntroadend.com/yabbse/index.php?topic=37787.15

 

[Dyer'ere]

Very kind, Oldster.

But, eh? Started the season off optimistically and finished it off misty optically? LOL. TOT.

 

[TOT70]

Very kind, Oldster.

But, eh? Started the season off optimistically and finished it off misty optically? LOL. TOT.

Its only a rip-off from the Great DC but I always liked that line. Credit where it is due, though.

Glad to have you back, Big Jack. I thought you had snuck the Jordan McMahon line past everyone. Oldster always has the eagle-eye out for these things.

 

[Tigers of Old]

I just hope Hardwick doesn't become a Beavis.

That's gonna stick GPB. Brilliant. :cutelaugh

 

[GR]

That is good, and I always thought that David Bourke looked/looks like Butthead

 

[Dyer Disciple]

That is good, and I always thought that David Bourke looked/looks like Butthead

So that's the name of the coffee boy at Coburg! He appears in with the coaches, he's always running back and forth asking, "One suger or two Sir?", certainly looks like him, well done GR!

 

[GR]

So that's the name of the coffee boy at Coburg! He appears in with the coaches, he's always running back and forth asking, "One suger or two Sir?", certainly looks like him, well done GR!

The build is to scale...

The (Coburg) forwards have certainly flourished under him this year, he's a real quiet achiever... in fact he's really quiet! He usually has trouble reading his own notes at the huddles, but when he has the forwards in a group to himself, man do they nod off!

The coffee is A1 at Coburg though, so he is at least getting something right!

 

[Ian4]

 

[craig]

:hihi :hihi :hihi

:clap :clap :clap

 

[67 special]

Here's one from Atha Klasso:

Pure genius

 

[Tigers of Old]

Hey, we've got a proud reputation to uphold. We own the GF sprint. Let's get involved. So, who's running this year?

Angus Graham.
He's starting at quarter time.

Nice poppa. :cutelaugh

and this from the latest Shane Tuck thread..

1st rnd pick for a 28yr old?

Yeah, but you gotta remember - he's a Tuck. Tucks age differently to normal humans. (Someone at the Ponds Institute should probably sponge him down after each game, squeeze his sweat into jars, and sell it to chicks who want to avoid the seven signs of aging).

Tuck years are sort of like reverse dog years, so he's probably only a third of the way through his career. If we hang on to him, we could end up with a father/son combo in the team.

;D

 

[Bill James]

I, for one , would never venture on to any Feral forums. It's amazing they can actually construct a sentance! :hihi

Let alone a word.

 

[davidrodan]

ToO *smile* slaps TT12 back under the bridge

And might I add one of the most beautiful uses of the search function I have seen in a long time

Bucks will be coaching RICHMOND 2010 and beyond

Hmmm ok.

signed sealed and delivered :clap

Rightio.

im partying HARD!!!!..... very reliable source

Still partying?

yeah after it had been on for only 2minutes :clap

this is laughable....your were all taken for a ride :hihi

i've enjoyed every moment of it

Hilarious. :

D.O.C..... L.M

More crap from your 'reliable' source.

Hardwick will try a few things next year.

Can confirm that Luke McGaune to play forward with Jay Schulz to play Full Back .

Schulz is at Port.

sorry to be the bearer of bad news but doesnt look like 'The RICHOMAN' will be playing on.... the hammy just hasnt come up from what i've been told


and this link confirms it
http://au.sports.yahoo.com/afl/news/article/-/6216201/rethink-richo

That link confirms nothing and even if what you are saying is true TT12, your track record is one of a boy who cried wolf one too many times.