Goldposts - The best of Punt Road End

[Dyer'ere]

Its true indeed. Long Lost Hernaman was quietly having his lunch in a popular Richmond eatery when Clinton, Greg and Maurice O'Shannassy sat down at tne next table. Here's what was said:

GM: Fellas, thanks for coming. Its time to get the old team back together. Demetriou won’t let me near GC17 or Western Sydney…I’ve got 30,000 Richmond 2009 members caps in my garage and Wrighty won’t return my calls…Channel 7 aren’t interested in any of my ideas…Hammerheads II, replacing the wiggle on Animal Hospital…
CC: sick animals eh? like the way you left the tigers and kangaroos?
GM: p!ss off Clint you can’t talk. Look, its time to make a move on the board. Marchie was OK when you could control him but the genie is out of the bottle and he needs putting back.
CC: a comeback eh? Property sales are slow with this downturn. Maybe a little profile wouldn’t go astray. You know, feel the punters’ love again. I like it.
MO: Umm Clint, you’re on the nose with the punters. Remember the debt you’ve left behind? The wooden spoons? The election fiasco?
CC: I don’t think so pally. I’m adored. I gave the club stability. The foyer in the club is named after me.
MO: Umm Clint, you named it after you.
CC: minor detail Maurie. You’re getting a bit uppity aren’t you? Greg and I brought you onto the board. You sat there and blindly agreed with a whole bunch of Greg and my decisions. What’s your story?
MO: well, you know, it’s umm err evolution. Governance.
GM: OK, so maybe they do think Clint’s a bit of a spiv…sorry Clint…nice white shoes by the way…so we’ll need a new figurehead. I’ve made a shortlist.
MO: this just says “No Schwabs”.
GM: yeah well it’s a work in progress.
MO: Not a bad start but I think you’re missing a couple of points here. You’re a bit on the nose yourself with the punters. Oakley-Nicholls ring a bell?
GM: mmmm, Jarrad is tantalising….um err I mean a tantalising prospect.
MO: pull yourself together Elton. It’s more than that. The board is looking for more transparency, methodology, planning. Modern strategy.
GM: I’ve got all that in spades. Here, look at these spreadsheets I’ve put together for the draft.
CC: Greg, why does it say M Pahoff at the top of the page? Isn’t Pahoff that crackpot that ran the election petition?
GM: never mind that…look Plough will be on board, we’ll get some names together and get back in business. Then we’ll head bush, find the best kids, offer them a colour telly and get ‘em to sign a form 4. You know, old school. That’s the way to run a footy club in the modern era!
MO: Look Greg, Plough’s got his own issues to deal with.
GM: I made you, you p!ssant suit. I interfered with an election for you blokes.
MO: It’s just not going to happen. You agree Clint?
CC: You really think they hate me?
MO: Surer than Spud never getting another coaching gig.
CC: Jesus. Then what’s in all this for me?
GM: It’s about what’s in it for me. You blokes owe me.
MO: Clint, can’t you find space on your payroll for Greg…use his talents…you know, win-win…
CC: I think we still have a vacancy in the aged care area....the job Dutchy didn’t take up…know anything about podiatry?
GM: aged care? that’s not my go…
CC: well you seemed interested enough in nursing Kent Kingsley in his twilight years…take it or leave it numb-nuts. I’ve got to go; I’m due at the *smile* Reynolds Club lunch. You want a lift Maurie?
MO: yeah. Bye Greg.

Now there's some gold for ya. Genius. :hihi

 

[Rosy]

I now know how it feels to be a collingwood supporter, except better, because I barrack for Richmond :hihi

Very funny jamo. I don't know whether to be pity you or be happy for you. ;D

 

[Ian4]

just read the post by long lost hernaman. i think he has lost it... absolutely brilliant. :rofl

 

[Tigers of Old]

From the Obama v McCain thread.

if i knew i how to post pictures

i'd post Grandpa Simpson v Carl from the power plant

You mean this:

Excellent work guys. ;D

 

[Redford]

Heh heh heh...not bad that...not bad.

 

[Tigers of Old]

wayne deserves to be immortalised for this goldpost from a while back..

We need a nickname that encourages crowd interaction...

There is Kreuzer who gets Kreuzeeee

Peter Bell gets the bell rung when he gets a touch.

What about Trent 'Chimp Kazoo' Cotchin, when he gets a kick or handball, the fans all blow a kazoo then shriek like a chimpanzee. Imagine doing that 30-35 times a game. :spin

http://www.puntroadend.com/yabbse/index.php?topic=31937.msg779953#msg779953

Where the legend began.. ;D

 

[Redford]

Yes. Easily the most significant post/contribution to PRE in the last few years. Easy.

Wayne gets the first Platinum Goldposts award imo.

 

[davidrodan]

I heard that when Thompson first walked into the club he came across Connors and Polo smoking cigarettes, snorting coke of the back of a stripper and discussing the fights they were going to start in a nightclub that night.

Within 5 minutes he had the strippers out the door and Dan and Dean running a 5km time trial. Two days later he had them both in relationships with nice girls who are professional netballers that they will have lots of father-son eligible children with.

Well worth a third round pick!

24 carat gold there, Colonel

funny because it's true ;D

 

[craig]

From the Obama v McCain thread.

Excellent work guys. ;D

From the Obama v McCain thread.

Excellent work guys. ;D

:hihi :hihi

 

[the golden]

some good posts in here that is for sure have not seen all tonight but will see the rest tomorrow :clap

 

[Ian4]

;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

i don't think i need to explain why this is in here right?

 

[Ghost of Punt Road]

i don't think i need to explain why this is in here right?

You know, if he doesn't get drafted...a couple of small angle changes on the H, and it becomes a K.

 

[Tigers of Old]

"Ben, the two of us need look no more
We both found what we were looking for"

"With a Tiger to call my own
I.ll never be alone
And you my Tiger will see
You've got a Tiger in me"

"Ben You're always Running here and there
You felt you were not wanted anymore
If you look behind, The cops chase no more
There,s something you should know
Your going to Tigerland and Joining the Richo showwwwwwwwwwwwww"

"You use to say "I" and "Me"
Now It,s" Oh and Where From Tigerland" down to a Tee"

"Ben all clubs turned you away
The Tigers didnt listen to a word the others had to say
They all didnt see what the Tigers see in you
Its to late for them as you and the Tigers march right through
Wishing they had the balls to take youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu"

Not bad at all skippa. :cutelaugh

 

[Tigers of Old]

Enjoyed this one from skipper during the week on the verge of Luxbet being announced as our new sponsor.

Wonder what the jumper's gonna look like?

Might get one if they look alright

Each player will have a certain role to play with their jumper.
EG:
Ben Cousins will have Brownlow written on top of his jumper.His jumper # will correspond with what odds Luxbet are offering at the time.So in round 1 the cuz will run out with 40/1 and if he kills early after an interchange he changes the jumper number to say 25/1.


Richo will have Dummy spit at Teamate/Umpire.He,ll stay with the no 12 as the odds would be 1-2 odds on.

:hihi :hihi :hihi :hihi :hihi :hihi :hihi :hihi :hihi :hihi

 

[frickenel]

The following wasn't posted on PRE but in the 50/50 section of the Herald Sun, but gave me a good chuckle......

The heatwave was caused by a high-pressure system stuck in the Tasman. The solution cold be to blow New Zealand out of the water so such highs can move on. The price of lamb may go up a little, but otherwise, who would care?

Jack, Cohuna

 

[premiers2011]

The following wasn't posted on PRE but in the 50/50 section of the Herald Sun, but gave me a good chuckle......

The heatwave was caused by a high-pressure system stuck in the Tasman. The solution cold be to blow New Zealand out of the water so such highs can move on. The price of lamb may go up a little, but otherwise, who would care?

Jack, Cohuna

Jack makes a very good point.
I think we'd gladly put up with an extra dollar a kilo to get rid or those two little islands off the east coast ;D

 

[Tigers of Old]

Missed this little gem from the one and only wayne last night.

The curious case of Matthew Richardson :hihi

He's aging backwards!

 

[Tigers of Old]

From the Sheeds article today.

We've stated we're coming more times in the last 25 years than Ron Jeremy.

Nice work DD. :hihi

 

[Tony Braxton-Hicks]

From BillyB#40 in The Art of War thread:

Therefore measure in terms of five things, use these assessments to make comparisons, and thus find out what the conditions are. The five things are the way, the weather, the terrain, the leadership, and discipline.
The Way means inducing the people to have the same aim as the leadership, so that they will share death and share life, without fear of danger.
The weather means the seasons.
The terrain is to be assessed in terms of distance, difficulty or ease of travel, dimension, and safety.
Leadership is a matter of intelligence, trustworthiness, humaneness, courage, and sternness.
Discipline means organization, chain of command, and logistics.
Every general has heard of these five things. Those who know them prevail, those who do not know them do not prevail.

to put it another way

Kick it long to Richo

 

[Tigers of Old]

I have an idea if Wallace is sacked/contract not renewed.

It's a new reality game called Feral Survivor. 22 prospective coaches camp at Punt Road Oval and are set challenges like, teaching foot and hand skills, tackling, gut running, shepherding and goal kicking. At the end of the week, us Richmond ferals then vote one em off. Gary March then comes on and says, "I will now tally the votes, and the ferals decision is final". The coach voted off is then carted away in a tip truck full of chook manure never to be heard from again or go into the commentary box. Great game and should rate well.