This won't work if it remains subjective. Subjectivity fails because of inconsistency. Consistency fails because of subjectivity.
In my opinion these are the two major failings of the AFL umpiring system.
Here is my view on some solutions to rectify the inconsistent debacle that is AFL umpiring:
Remove the numbers and microphones from the umpires.
Umpires don't use nicknames of players. You are not their friend. You are there to perform a job that has clear boundaries and rules.
Umpires don't nanny players. .No "cut it out", "don't do that", "don't hold", or sideway glances. Blow the whistle and award a free if it is there. If not, shut up. If it is not outside of the rules your commentary is not required.
Umpires don't talk to the players. When a player makes a mistake and a free is paid, clearly and simply describe to the player why it was paid. That is it.
If there is dissent. 50 metre.
Players don't talk to the umpires. They are not your friend. Learn to shut up.
Simplify the rules. Remove all subjectivity. If it can't be removed, can the rule.
Umpires meet as a team for an assessment review following a game to view and discuss consistency and inconsistency in their performance as a team. This is done by an independent panel. They are held to account for their performance.
No rule of the week. Never. Ever.