Stronger and Bolder.
An addendum.
By Konrad Marshall
Written in 2019, and re-edited in September 2020 as the Tigers wind up for their finals series in the Queensland COVID-19 isolation hub.
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Preface:
I had written this one page chapter just before the finals in 2019, but on the advice of my editors we removed it from the final version of the book. What is interesting is the impact of the 2020 season on the mindsets and pre-game rituals of the Tigers, and one aspect in particular that has changed this year.
I hope you enjoy it.
Vanilla slices and the pre-game Buddah.
It is no secret that Neil Balme loves a vanilla slice. In fact it is rumoured his addiction the the sweet, custardy deliciousness accounts for 0.01% of the Tigers annual soft cap spending. It is a rare day indeed that Balmy is not seen wandering the halls of the club HQ, the remnants of sticky vanilla or lemon icing on his fingers and pastry crumbs on his woolen jumper. No one single person is responsible for making sure that Balmy's desk on level 2 has a fresh supply of the tasty comestible in question ready and waiting for his morning snack when he arrives at the club just after 10:00am. In fact, there is a roster on the wall outside his door with the names of the personnel who have the responsibility for the day to duck off down to the Richmond Pie Shop on Swan St. Yesterday it was young Jack Higgins job to get the tray of slices, and today is is Beryl in accounts. I've had my name up there as well and it is one way you know that the Tigers have taken you to their collective hearts.
But the role of the humble, delicious vanilla slice is even more important on game day. Every game day Balmy has an extra slice just before the walk to the MCG or before leaving to go to whatever ground the Tigers are playing on when scheduled away from the MCG. This is his pre-game ritual and preparation.
Once he arrives in the rooms at the ground he has his game face on. Sometimes his game face includes small crumbs of pastry hanging on for grim life in his beard. Other times his jumper also holds the pastry evidence. And it these very crumbs that form one of the most important elements of the Tigers preparation. Because at the and of the coaches final address in the meeting room, hidden away from the broadcaster's cameras, with only the players, the emergencies, senior and line coaches in attendance do the Tigers perform their last, ritualistic act before committing their minds and bodies, their skills and courage, to the game.
It is called the pre-game Buddah.
Balmy brushes any remaining crumbs from his beard and they fall, to nestle comfortably oh his jumper, which sits, stretched somewhat, over his considerable, vanilla slice enhanced, stomach. And the players, youngest first, then the oldest, followed by the emergencies, the coaches in ascending order of seniority and finally the head coach, Dimma, walk past Neil Balme and each brush a crumb off his stomach and intone the words "Buddah Balmy".
I witnessed this ritual only the once. In the last home and away game against Brisbane at the MCG prior to the 2019 finals. I was invited in to the meeting and I sat up the back trying to be as unobtrusive as possible as the team and the coaches received their last instructions, and then performed the "Buddah Balmy". All the players and coaches filed out leaving just me and Neil. He motioned me down from my seat in the back row and said, "Out you go Konrad". And, as I left the room I reached out to brush the last remaining crumbs from his ample, jumper covered, belly. Balmy grabbed my wrist in a vice-like grip and growled "Don't you bloody dare!", and stared into my eyes until I dropped my gaze and submitted to the leader of the pack.
"Bloody Jack Reiwoldt started this just after I joined the club. And all the players know that I will *smile* end them if they do the wrong thing and this is my way of reminding them."
I swallowed down a lump of fear from my throat as Balmy reached into his backpack and pulled out a grease-proof paper wrapped vanilla slice, handed it to me and said "Write a good book Konrad. You know what will happen if you don't".
Yes, Mr Balme", I said and walked out of the room into the hustle and bustle of the change room just as the team completed their stretching exercises.
