Goldposts - The best of Punt Road End

[tannerztigers]

A very clever entry from T74 & Elmer this week.

I hope we get it right this time, but if you walk past Punt Road when its quiet I swear you hear Miller chanting "monorail, monorail, monorail"

To the theme of monorail:

GM: Well, sir, there's nothing on earth
Like a genuine,
Bona fide,
Electrified,
Five-year plan!
What'd I say?
TW: Five year plan!
GM: What's it called?
Richo+Browny: Five year plan?!
TW+GM: That's right! Five year plan

[crowd chants `Five-year plan’ softly and rhythmically]

Redford: I hear those things are awfully suspect...
TW: We’ll stay the course and end up perfect
GPB: Is there a chance the graph could bend?
TW: Not on your life, my pretty friend.
Bling: What about us skinny kids?
TW: We'll play you anyway next to Lids
Craig: Were you sent here by the devil?
GM: No, good sir, I'm on the level.
Leysy: The ring came off Leysy’s VB can.
TW: Take my stubby, my good man.
I swear it's Richmond's only choice...
Throw up your hands and raise your voice!
All: Five year plan!
GM: What's it called?
All: Five year plan!
TW: Once again...
All: Five year plan!
Claw: But Petts and Bling are still soft and token...
Harry: Sorry, Claw, the duds have spoken!
All: Five-year plan!
Five-year plan!
[big finish]
Five-year plan!!
Craig: Five…..D’uds!

http://www.puntroadend.com/yabbse/index.php?topic=28061.new#new


:cutelaugh Excellent.

HAHAHA, that is GOLD!

 

[Col.E.Kurtz]

But noone found the oh so clever and witty and preceding conversation about famous economists and the AFL draft worth quoting :'(

Sometimes I worry that I'm not as in touch with the kids as I thought.

 

[Elmer]

nice working the tag team with you Fuddy :clap

Thanks T74, stole your thunder a bit.

A personal fav was regarding Otter on the rumour thread.

I heard he fell off a ladder and accidently skewered King's wife in the groin. I may have got that mixed up though...

 

[smasha]

A very clever entry from T74 & Elmer this week.

I hope we get it right this time, but if you walk past Punt Road when its quiet I swear you hear Miller chanting "monorail, monorail, monorail"

To the theme of monorail:

GM: Well, sir, there's nothing on earth
Like a genuine,
Bona fide,
Electrified,
Five-year plan!
What'd I say?
TW: Five year plan!
GM: What's it called?
Richo+Browny: Five year plan?!
TW+GM: That's right! Five year plan

[crowd chants `Five-year plan’ softly and rhythmically]

Redford: I hear those things are awfully suspect...
TW: We’ll stay the course and end up perfect
GPB: Is there a chance the graph could bend?
TW: Not on your life, my pretty friend.
Bling: What about us skinny kids?
TW: We'll play you anyway next to Lids
Craig: Were you sent here by the devil?
GM: No, good sir, I'm on the level.
Leysy: The ring came off Leysy’s VB can.
TW: Take my stubby, my good man.
I swear it's Richmond's only choice...
Throw up your hands and raise your voice!
All: Five year plan!
GM: What's it called?
All: Five year plan!
TW: Once again...
All: Five year plan!
Claw: But Petts and Bling are still soft and token...
Harry: Sorry, Claw, the duds have spoken!
All: Five-year plan!
Five-year plan!
[big finish]
Five-year plan!!
Craig: Five…..D’uds!

http://www.puntroadend.com/yabbse/index.php?topic=28061.new#new


:cutelaugh Excellent.

I'm crying with laughter-the 5 year plan bit at the start-that's pure comedy gold.

Just picturing Wallace,Miller,Richo ,Browny and us fans swaying side to side ,hands in the air with chesire cat grins singing 5 year plan.

 

[Tigers of Old]

This is classic from the Brian Royal interview thread this week.

*Hopes the success of the Tigers will put him in the mix for a senior job down the track

What the?

That comment stands out like a hairy snatch in a nudey bar...is he for real?

http://www.puntroadend.com/yabbse/index.php?topic=28579.0

LMAO Brissie. :cutelaugh

 

[davidrodan]

70% of the Banner thread should be on here
but here is one of my all time favourites by one of the Banner thread legends, L2R2R

Though you've won thirty-something flags
All but one aren't real
Your jumper's been designed by fags
And what the *smile* is teal?

(not politically correct I know, delete if inappropriate)

 

[Dyer'ere]

I hope we get it right this time, but if you walk past Punt Road when its quiet I swear you hear Miller chanting "monorail, monorail, monorail"

To the theme of monorail:

GM: Well, sir, there's nothing on earth
Like a genuine,
Bona fide,
Electrified,
Five-year plan!

I'd like to see this performed live at the next home game. Be worth the price of admission. :rofl :rofl :rofl

 

[walhalla tiger]

a bit of self agrandisment............
63 FOOTBALL / DYER-TRIBE / Re: Race for the flag. on: June 12, 2007, 08:45:55 pm
get the kids piggy bank and load up on Geelong. Will win easily.

 

[TT33]

a bit of self agrandisment............
63 FOOTBALL / DYER-TRIBE / Re: Race for the flag. on: June 12, 2007, 08:45:55 pm
get the kids piggy bank and load up on Geelong. Will win easily.

Haven't won it yet.

 

[Tigers of Old]

Actually, my source was a youngish looking guy.
Very dark skin.
Around 6'1''.
I think he said he's played a few games at Coburg.
And something about he's just got over his OP.
He called himself Carl.

I think I've found the guy!

http://www.puntroadend.com/yabbse/index.php?topic=28544.60

:rofl

 

[Dyer'ere]

When they stay a year too long, the farewell tour is for the opposition fans, not their own.

Aging champions always get jeered by opposition fans. They slow down, the body performs sluggishly and they generally stay one year too long, esp in this era of big money. It is part of the territory. It happened to Voss last year, Wayne Campbell the year before and to Hird this year. When they stay a year too long, the farewell tour is for the opposition fans, not their own.

This one from TOT. The beeyoootiful paradox.

 

[TOT70]

Is that a fine?

Why would you get a fine for that? I heard it, Demitripoo might get a bit upset but that's a personal thing nothing to do with the AFL or the game.

umm because the rule states an official cannot bag anything AFL. Just a thought.

His comments followed a pre-match attack on the priority pick rule on Triple M when Wallace light-heartedly compared the AFL with TV sitcom Happy Days and likened its chief executive Andrew Demetriou to "the Fonz" because he could never admit he was wrong.

AFL spokesman Patrick Keane said clubs were entitled to disagree with rules and Wallace would not face any penalty.
And Keane said Demetriou was not upset to be called Fonzie because "the Fonz was always cool".

"(Demetriou) said it would have really hurt if he was called Potsie," Keane said.
http://www.heraldsun.news.com.au/footy/common/story_page/0,8033,22346918%255E19771,00.html

The Terry and Andy show deserves a run. This is the funniest exchange ever from two AFL honchos that doesn't involve Kevin Sheedy.

 

[Tigers of Old]

Brilliant stuff from Mr Braxton Hicks in the 'Mad Monday' thread.. :cutelaugh

Richo went to buy a round for the boys but Schulz crashed into him.

However Browny was waiting for the spillage. He gathered a loose beer and passed it to Polak, who dropped it and fell over.

Pettifer managed to finish a beer and high-fived everyone in the bar.

Raines got quite pissed. He couldn't walk straight and just kept spinning in circles.

Danny Meyer just moped in the corner.

Darren Gaspar left early.

"Jim" Knobel and JON discussed lawnmowing.

Cleve suffered a grooming malfunction and made an emergency appointment with his stylist.

Richo had a bit of trouble at the urinal. He couldn't pee straight.

Cogs then slipped at the urinal and did his knee again.

Joel and Patrick shared beers. Patrick hasn't enjoyed such good service all year.

JON was short of change and tried to do a runner, but he was grabbed and thrown to the ground by one of the girls queueing for the toilets.

Kane Johnson, Raines, Richo, Tuck, JON and Hartigan played darts. None could hit the target and the game ended in a nil-all draw.

Trent Cotchin dropped in, saw what was going on and muttered something about tanking at draft camp.

Alan Didak staggered in, saw there were no strippers and then caught a lift with someone he'd never met before.

 

[Dyer'ere]

:rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl

 

[Tigerfan]

Author absolutejoke
Topic: Had enough. (Read 2033 times)

Tiger Cub
Offline
Posts: 3
« on: April 25, 2007, 04:39:10 pm »

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After viewing this site for a while I have to make a comment. I am a player and find it an absolute disgrace what is said about a lot of the players who are trying there best and have done for a number of years. A lot of you people hide behind your faceless comments and opinions. Most of you with the chance to face these players you berate face to face would not have the courage to say a thing. It makes me feel sick reading some of these pathetic comments from people who probably have never played the game and certainly dont have a clue what you are talking about . It is a joke and I would love to front a few of you in person.

Report to moderator Logged

 

[Curtiger]

From Skybeau, regarding Carlton's bankruptcy and $45 debt to poppa x's company.

Them Tanks don't come cheap, dontcher know...

 

[Tigerfan]

mld
Tiger Legend

Offline

Gender:
Posts: 1047
Re: What's happening on Punt Road oval?
« Reply #8 on: Today at 08:51:08 am »

Quote from: FullBackFwd on Today at 08:49:27 am

And if we were still in the finals series, where would we train?!

:rofl

 

[Dyer'ere]

Dear Andrew

I feel compelled to congratulate you on the manner in which you conduct the business of your enterprise. Your organisation has adopted a number of world first practices that have not been given the recognition they deserve.

The managent of AFL fixtures to ensure your leading franchise always plays in the finals is a resounding success. Anyone witnessing the capacity crowd at the Collingwood Geelong preliminary final could only gasp in admiration at the commercial foresight of this strategy.

The drug program implemented by your organisation is demonstrably superior to the programs of any other elite sporting organisation in the world. The fact that not one single player has been identified in breach of the drug policy clearly in the past decade shows that education does eliminate drug problems from the sport. It is obvious that alternative drug programs that focus on drug testing and penalties are far less successful as the sports that employ such programs are riddled with drug users.

The AFL website has world leading download times. The deliberate strategy of a 15 minute download time (longer in the lucrative overseas market) has a massive impact on viewer retention times. Any fan wishing to access information is exposed to quality advertising for extended periods. Normally this would not be good practice, but the AFL has deliberately and publicly engaged the most hated organisation in the country to manage the website and this deflects criticism from the AFL. Simply masterful.

The Rules Committee is a wonderful commercial intiative. When the CEO wants a rule change, it is simply laundered through the rules committee. This allows rules to be changed that make commercial sense. The hands in the back rule for example has doubled calls to talk back shows, extended the timeslots of footy chat shows and ignited the passion of the paying public the world over. It is a wonderful of example of taking a perfect product and re-packaging it to good effect.

The priority draft pick has successfully engaged fans of bottom sides late into the season. Praying desparately for their team to lose, dwelling on extended injury lists and dobbing in players seen having afternoon tea with their grandmothers when the should have been at recovery sessions. It is a credit to the teams for whom losing would provide such an obvious advantage that they have continued to play winning football albeit without the onfield success they so richly deserved.

The surplus of Melbourne teams has been wonderfully handled. Firstly you have offered much public support for the Melbourne clubs and repeatedly stated that the clubs will need assistance. This public campaign has been ably backed up strategies to improve tv viewing slots, home finals, draft concessions, salary cap concessions and commissioner positions for the interstate clubs. All strategies that will hasten the commercial reality that some Melbourne clubs must die and soon. The clever strategy of relocating Melbourne clubs to ensure the Melbourne public is not conned into supporting the remaining franchise will only hasten this reality. Well done.

In an age of corporate governance excess, the AFL has successfully established an organisation where none of the stakeholders have any idea who owns the AFL, who controls it or what are its fiduciary duties if any. This is a commendable achievement which even the Australian Wheat Board must admire. The transparency of commission elections where by commissioners who are are responslibe for allocating funds to the AFL clubs are voted for by AFL clubs is a wonderful iniative that more military junta's should adopt to legitimise their own verstions of democracy.

Australians all over the world are proud of their game (sorry your game) and are grateful for the inspired management that is leading it into the new millenium.

kind regards
Bill

Gold.

 

[Dyer'ere]

.

The news I heard is that at lunch yesterday neither Morton or Palmer were able to pick up their knives and forks in order to eat the lunch. Masten had to cut up their food and play aeroplanes with them. As a result of this test, it is now confirmed that Morton and Palmer only look good when being fed by Masten.

:rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl :rofl

Is it the funniest post in the history of PRE? You be the judge. ;D

 

[Redford]

Dear Andrew

I feel compelled to congratulate you on the manner in which you conduct the business of your enterprise. Your organisation has adopted a number of world first practices that have not been given the recognition they deserve.

The managent of AFL fixtures to ensure your leading franchise always plays in the finals is a resounding success. Anyone witnessing the capacity crowd at the Collingwood Geelong preliminary final could only gasp in admiration at the commercial foresight of this strategy.

The drug program implemented by your organisation is demonstrably superior to the programs of any other elite sporting organisation in the world. The fact that not one single player has been identified in breach of the drug policy clearly in the past decade shows that education does eliminate drug problems from the sport. It is obvious that alternative drug programs that focus on drug testing and penalties are far less successful as the sports that employ such programs are riddled with drug users.

The AFL website has world leading download times. The deliberate strategy of a 15 minute download time (longer in the lucrative overseas market) has a massive impact on viewer retention times. Any fan wishing to access information is exposed to quality advertising for extended periods. Normally this would not be good practice, but the AFL has deliberately and publicly engaged the most hated organisation in the country to manage the website and this deflects criticism from the AFL. Simply masterful.

The Rules Committee is a wonderful commercial intiative. When the CEO wants a rule change, it is simply laundered through the rules committee. This allows rules to be changed that make commercial sense. The hands in the back rule for example has doubled calls to talk back shows, extended the timeslots of footy chat shows and ignited the passion of the paying public the world over. It is a wonderful of example of taking a perfect product and re-packaging it to good effect.

The priority draft pick has successfully engaged fans of bottom sides late into the season. Praying desparately for their team to lose, dwelling on extended injury lists and dobbing in players seen having afternoon tea with their grandmothers when the should have been at recovery sessions. It is a credit to the teams for whom losing would provide such an obvious advantage that they have continued to play winning football albeit without the onfield success they so richly deserved.

The surplus of Melbourne teams has been wonderfully handled. Firstly you have offered much public support for the Melbourne clubs and repeatedly stated that the clubs will need assistance. This public campaign has been ably backed up strategies to improve tv viewing slots, home finals, draft concessions, salary cap concessions and commissioner positions for the interstate clubs. All strategies that will hasten the commercial reality that some Melbourne clubs must die and soon. The clever strategy of relocating Melbourne clubs to ensure the Melbourne public is not conned into supporting the remaining franchise will only hasten this reality. Well done.

In an age of corporate governance excess, the AFL has successfully established an organisation where none of the stakeholders have any idea who owns the AFL, who controls it or what are its fiduciary duties if any. This is a commendable achievement which even the Australian Wheat Board must admire. The transparency of commission elections where by commissioners who are are responslibe for allocating funds to the AFL clubs are voted for by AFL clubs is a wonderful iniative that more military junta's should adopt to legitimise their own verstions of democracy.

Australians all over the world are proud of their game (sorry your game) and are grateful for the inspired management that is leading it into the new millenium.

kind regards
Bill

Gold.

Not bad...not bad.