I’m not a hater. I like new stuff and I’m a believer in growing the game overseas or interstate. But it was kind of sh!te. Luckily, I’ve come up with a few tweaks to soup it up a bit:
- Umpires are clogging the TV view. Let’s put them in a blimp. Instead of throwing the ball up they could just hover over the middle and drop it. They could make decisions from an SMS machine in their dirigible. Interactive. We could all be blimpires.
- Turn the lights out for 10 seconds at random moments.
- All fans could be given a gun on entry. Nothing life threatening - something between a low powered air rifle and a high powered nerf gun. Three pellets each. Choose wisely.
- If the footy goes into the crowd, the fan can kick/handpass/throw it to any player they choose and play continues (particularly pleased with this one).
- Padded walls instead of a boundary line. Checking. Awesome.
- The AFL boys eat up the distance too easily, so they should play with a half-deflated ball. Or a possum skin.
- Powerplays: This could be interesting. Teams could choose a two-minute block when their scores are worth double. Or maybe the other team have to play barefoot. Or handball only (bring on speedsters).
- Goal posts should be giant pinball thingies where the ball bounces off them at speed and makes a cool noise.
All it needs is a few tweaks.