Re: The 2014 PREmier Fighting Tiger Award - Round 21 vs Adelaide - VOTE HERE
MATCH REPORT
by Judge Smailes
Singin’ in the Rain – Tiges in 7th Heaven
Round 22 – the Tiges, in my home town, for the first time at the upgraded Adelaide Oval. The last time I saw the Tigers “live” was on a yearly pilgrimage to the home of football (yes, Melbourne), great mate Janga (one of the “good” Crows supporters – meaning he understands footy and doesn’t blindly boo and whinge every time something happens on the field of play) in tow. We love that yearly pilgrimage, squeezing as much footy (and beer) as we can into three days, with Janga kindly allowing me to indulge by making sure one of the games involves my beloved Tiges. Curiously, that last game I saw live was Round 15 – against St. Kilda at Etihad – the start of our now wondrous seven game winning streak. This fact wasn’t lost on good mate Mase who had flown over from Melbourne to see us take on the Crows. “You started this in Melbourne Boris (Note: I may be known on PRE as “Judge Smailes”, but all my mates know me simply as “Boris”), you are our Talisman”. As uncomfortable as I was with this moniker, if it helps a fellow Tiger fan believe that it will help us to keep winning, who am I to argue?
I leave my house to the voice of my missus shouting “you shouldn’t be going out in that weather with the flu!” She clearly doesn’t understand there is no choice – there is a six game winning streak at stake, my mate has flown over from Melbourne – anything short of Ebola and I’m there, front and centre, Tiger scarf to protect me from the elements. Janga, Rob (one of Janga’s mates, a Tiger supporter) and I head towards the tram that will take us to Adelaide Oval. This would be the last time in the evening that Tiger supporters would outnumber the Crows “supporters”. When the exit doors change from the far side to our side half way into the city, we almost lose Rob and his Tiger Centenary polo shirt as the door he is leaning on gives way – not a great omen. We make it in safely to the ground amongst a sea of red yellow and blue – with a spattering of beautiful black and gold in between – which makes me appreciate how damn awesome our colours are. The opposition supporters have no choice but to wear apparel that looks like a clown threw up after bingeing on fruit tingles.
Rain is falling as we head into the arena – it looks magnificent, and all things taken into account – the powers that be have done a sensational job of upgrading a majestic venue. While modern, it keeps the charm of the original, and really is a treat to behold. We head into the Phil Ridings bar to get some liquid courage into us prior to the first bounce. It is HOT inside – good drinking weather I guess, and being Saturday night, a few beers are in order. I am pleasantly surprised to see that a beer of choice is James Squire 150 Lashes, not just West End (nuclear waste) or Hahn Super Dry.
A few beers are smashed down and the umpire holds the ball aloft to start play. I’m not one to watch footy from the bar, but given the lack of seats available, the excellent view from the second level bar and the teeming rain, we agree to watch the first quarter in luxury. Fifteen seconds in, Ivan to Lids and a skidding sausage roll results! Nice! The bloke in front of us – in a group of blokes seemingly into double figures on the beer count – went absolutely NUTS, “Deledio for first goal, I told ya!” as he held up his winning ticket elbowing enough punters in the process to earn a two weeks rest from the Match Review Panel. I was happy for the guy – until he repeated how skilful he was over and over for the next ten minutes, where we simply had to interject - “buy us all a bloody beer with your winnings or shut the f*** up!” - the obvious call to make. The Lids goal seemed to send the locals into “boooooo” mode, though I am still not sure what they were booing about. The Tiges looked up and about early (I’m not sure what that really means but they were); some slick disposal in the wet was a pleasant surprise, while Adelaide were collectively a bit fumbly. Our boys were playing smart footy, banging the footy forward, while the Adelaide boys were trying too much finesse with dinky handballs leading to turnovers. When Nipper Gordon juggled a grab and finished beautifully for our second goal, things were looking pretty damn sweet! At the six minute mark, Benny Griffiths had the footy about 60 metres out – and I LOVE what happened next. No thoughts of passing it off – he just went back, wet ball and all and smashed a 65 metre drop punt right through the guts. I’m sure a whole bunch of Adelaide supporters were completely nonplussed by this herculean effort – the coverage of teams other than Adelaide and Port in this town probably meant half of the Crow fans had no idea who this Gryffindor bloke was. Let’s hope we can harness this bloke’s potential over the next couple of years – he is such a weapon when he is on song. While I had visons of a 10 goal Tiger win dancing in my head, it was back to reality, Oh! There goes gravity as Josh Jenkins slotted the Crows first. This led to some ominous music being played over the PA combined with vision of a “murder” of crows flying together towards the big screen video scoreboard – punctuated by one particular crow letting out a massive “AAAAAAAAAAAAARK” with the word “GOAL” pasted across the front. Err, OK – It did invoke memories of that scene in Alfred Hitchcock’s “The Birds” where a bunch of ravenous crows attack kids at a playground, pecking their little heads as they screamed. Or to a lesser extent, Graham Kennedy’s famous Crow impression from Blankety Blanks that put him in hot water. Anyway, I digress. A resurgent Axel dobbed a handy sausage for the good guys to extend our lead and it was high fives all round in the bar. Taylor Walker put down his copy of the Wall Street Journal long enough to goal after a series of “interesting” free kicks to the boys in the froot loop shirts. The locals seemed to be getter the better of the blokes with the whistle, but being a tad biased – I needed confirmation. A quick check on the old HTC showed free kicks Adelaide 7, Richmond 1. Yup, not imagining it
In the shadows of quarter time, with the Crows stacking the backline it looked difficult for us to score – enter the Captain. At a ball up, Cotch timed his run superbly, grabbed the pill from the hitout, did a “pirouette, pirouette…pair of wet jeans!” then banged through a beautiful goal just before siren time. The boys played an excellent first quarter with Cotchin, Lids and Ellis looking the goods. 5.1 to 2.3 at the first break. There were grumblings from the locals already. Nice.
As we made our way through the crowd to investigate an outdoor viewing spot – having endured enough sauna time for one night - I spotted a Tiger at the bar that would have thrived in these conditions – Shane Tuck! Tucky now plays with the Goodwood Saints here in Adelaide, and is of course having a great season. He was a little embarrassed by the attention he had received during his game on Saturday, as the Tiger cheer squad rocked up to the Goodwood game to cheer him on. Great stuff. We caught up with him post game, and he was quite chuffed the Tiger Army had made the effort to watch him play, despite the embarrassment of the boys screaming his name all day…
The second quarter was tight – Adelaide drew first blood through the freshly re-contracted David McKay, then followed it up with another to Eddie “Place your” Betts – who was actually being pretty well held by Steve Morris, something that had eluded him in previous contests when Eddie was with the Blue Baggers. I must admit to being terrified of this matchup pre-game, given the wet surface and the propensity for Steve to hit the deck. When Walker blazed away and thankfully missed at the 13 minute mark I was getting nervous – our nice early buffer had been reduced to just three points. It was time to move spots again – you know, because that always helps change a game’s momentum – and by now we were just walking around the ground taking up standing room vantage points where possible, despite the steady rain still coming down. The beers kept flowing to keep the nerves at bay, and there continued to be a smattering of high fives and nods from other Tiger supporters wandering around the oval – I love this camaraderie, always get a kick out of it when we are playing “away”, there is a true bond between the Tiger brethren that can’t be broken. As I continued to marvel at the skills of Alex Rance – this bloke gives all he’s got every week and is an absolute weapon. The fact that Chaplain has once again hit form has freed up “Trossman” to go on a rampage down back, and I love watching him at work. Just as things were looking dire, Dusty Martin took the ball 50 out with nobody between him and the goals. He virtually “don’t argued” six opponents then launched a beauty that sailed through for a goal to extend the lead, before both teams missed a series of chances as the quarter wore on. Once again it was our boys who sweetly claimed a late one through “Titch/Shedwards” thanks to an ill-advised handball from Adelaide’s Crouch – making me feel a lot better about the half time catch up with a bunch of Crows supporters. Good guys led 7.5 to 4.10.
There was more joy to be had as we dissected the first half over more beers, when the screen near the Victor Richardson gates showed Collingwood being pumped by the Lions. This was the one time of the evening when Tiger and Crow fans alike let out a cheer….
The third quarter proved to be most interesting – the three of us moved to the Hill, where many a bad deed has been done during Test Matches over the years – like the time a mate of a mate – a butcher by trade – smuggled a bag of cows eyeballs into the ground – only to use the little squishy props as missiles towards visiting English fans during the Ashes series. I’ll never forget the look of terror in this young pommy girls eyes when one of the eyeballs slapped her from behind, sticking to her back. As she reached around to grab what was stuck to her, then brought it to eye level to investigate – the scream was deafening! Until of course the cheer from the Aussies surrounding her and her friends drowned it out… (Yes, I am digressing again, my apologies). So many memories.
Anyway, the third quarter was all Tiges, which could have made for a really enjoyable 30 minutes amongst some very interesting and feisty characters on the hill – however the boys could not kick a goal to save themselves. One goal freaking NINE for the quarter. Ellis, Lids and Griffo all had multiple chances to stretch the lead to a match winner, but it was miss after miss after frustrating miss. Lids did manage a sexy snapped goal just on five minutes, right about the time that Snipper Miles head crashed into the scone of David McKay – the Crow player coming off second best and leaving on the motorised stretcher. After the long delay (which helped in getting another beer) I figured just one more goal would almost do it – we could nearly taste the win. Four consecutive, painful misses didn’t help my mood – and when Rory Sloanedog Gazillionaire stole the footy sending it through for a goal – my heart sank. I also swore. But..wait! At the ensuing ball up – an announcement – the work experience video umpy had overturned the call, saying the ball had hit the post! Hallelujah! Maybe our luck is turning? Well, not really, as ex-skipper Newman, feeling sorry for the home team after such a poor decision, coughed the ensuing kick out up – allowing Freddie Betts to bang through a crucial goal, undoing all of the great work by the video replay steward. The Tiges missed two more shots through Titch and Nipper, keeping the game scarily tight. We held one of those leads at three quarter time – 19 points. Just like the 19th man. For those of you unfamiliar with the 19th man, it is the crappiest promotion in footy. For a start, there are 22 players on a team, right? Anyway, Adelaide does this god-awful thing where they call the collective crowd the “19th man”, and wow, is it embarrassing for them. At three quarter time there was a massive lineup at the men’s wizzer behind the beautiful original scoreboard – this was reminiscent of a test match in more ways than one. I met a Crows supporter from Melbourne while in the line, which seemed kind of ironic – but refreshing just the same.
Best players heading into the last quarter for the home team were probably the monster Sauce Jacobs, skinnyboy Talia and Oscar the Crouch. Dangermouse had touched it a fair bit but did manage to burn the footy more times than my missus burns the Sunday morning toast. With a 19 point lead, Rob and I decided the Tigers should kick the first goal for our general wellbeing. Last thing we wanted was for things to get tight…
Four minutes in, big Texas had the Crows first of the quarter receiving a free kick as apparently Trossman had breathed onto the back of big Tex’s neck. The Crows were clearly on top, and things were getting scary. Six minute mark, Podsiadly – despite wearing what appeared to be an underwire bra – received a short pass from Tex just 10 metres out, and the margin was down to seven. Holy crap, that third quarter where we kicked 1.9 was going to haunt us for sure. Finally we managed to get our hands on the pill but Vlossy’s shot went wide, 8 point lead. A rushed behind to Adelaide. At the 11 minute mark, an unattended Charlie Cameron – who seems to really like his own work – was left unattended 45 out, receiving a pass right on the chest. I felt sick. CC lined up, goal. He kissed his own hand. One point the difference with plenty of time left. We were under siege. The crowd was LOUD. Pressure was on. Expletives flew from the hill. I think some were from me. My Crow mate Janga – well behaved to this point – certainly better behaved than Rob and I – tapped me on the shoulder and simply said “your boys are in strife”. I felt he was right. Two minutes later the ball came towards the Adelaide forward line – one on contest between Chaplain and Pods – whistle blows, a free to Pods. A very soft free to pods. The replay shows Pod holding Chaplain’s jumper clearly. Terrible decision. Adelaide in front. The noise is deafening. I have no words. I am numb. The Crows go forward again, Pods holds Chappy again, but Chappy spoils. The ball falls to Ellis who is tackled. This same scenario has occurred throughout the night with the result on 99% of occasions being play on. Not now though. Not with all the momentum and almost 50,000 Adelaide fans screaming. Holding the ball. Or a throw. In my confusion I have no idea. Cameron gets the free. Bombs from 45 metres on the boundary but it hits the post. Ben Lennon, the sub – is still on the bench! Why? I have no idea. Does it matter? Probably not. We look done. Six points down with 10 minutes left but we can’t get the footy.
Lennon comes on. Finally. My beer is going down very quickly, nerves flowing. Shedwards lays a great tackle on the overrated Henderson. Holding the ball. Finally we get one. Edwards hits a leading Lennon right on the chest – it bounces straight off. I drop my head. Adelaide has the footy and all the players forward. The ball is kicked to the pocket; Betts knocks it straight to Pods 15 metres out. He dodges Rance, about to put the pill on his boot for what surely would be the sealer. As he drops the ball, somehow, from somewhere…Chappy knocks the ball from out of his grasp. I imagine BT saying “Wow Wee” on the telecast right now, a match saving moment. We rush a behind. The Tigers are starting to work back into it. Five points down. Deledio, Cotchin, Edwards in everything. We lock the ball in up forward. Lennon appears to get taken high, no free. Deledio snaps….and misses. Four points, six minutes. Jacobs has it for the Crows – but he panics, and kicks it straight to Rance. The Tiges pressing hard, but no goals. Cotchin snaps – and misses. It’s now 1.13 since half time; the goals have never looked so small. Inside four minutes, the ball in the centre, Morris beats Cameron in a crucial contest. He kicks to Griffiths inside the square, 75 out. Griffo goes BOOM towards the square, ball lands on the deck inside 10 metres; somehow Petterd knocks it out to Nipper Gordon who picks it up, snaps, and GOAAAAAALLLLLLLS!!!! Yeeeeeeeeaaahh!!!! Tigers in front! Rob and I high five as a random Tiger fan runs down the hill screaming. Still a few minutes to go. Please Tiges PLEASE get it done!
We have the ball again, Grimes on his back with the pill, somehow manages a handball right on the money to a sprinting Lids. The best player on the ground goes bang….but misses. Four point lead…
The Crows go forward, Sloane goes for a mark and Grimes falls on him, no free kick. The crowd collectively let out a “boooooo” for probably the 756th time tonight. From the pack, inside two minutes, Crouch kicks Adelaide within 20 metres of goal, heading towards Jenkins – but a diving mark from that man Chappy saves the day once again. Chappy goes to Griffo who launches it forward, but the ball comes back through Adelaide. The returned ball is picked up on the bounce by Griffo again showing great desire and attack on the footy, he gets it into a pack, who will come out with it…. It’s Shedwards breaking free! Shedwards gives it to Lennon who launches to Dusty in a one-on-one with Henderson…. Dusty gives Hendude a fair nudge and the Crow man goes down like a sack of spuds, knowing he is no match for the toughest man alive! Dusty sizes it up, goes bang and GOALS! Tigers are home! TIGERS ARE HOME!!!!! Rob and I hug, I high-five every tiger fan I can see, as Adelaide fans look on in disgust. It is a beautiful thing. Guess what? The crowd boos. Again. 50 seconds later the siren goes, there are smiling Tiger fans singing “Tigerland” sprinkled amongst a very fast moving sea of Adelaide fans busting for the exits.
Janga, Mase and I are lucky enough to see the wounded warriors in the rooms, and to have a chat with my old Primary school alumni in Mark “Choco” Williams. Choco chats freely and naturally, we laugh about the old days. As we leave the boys to it, Dimma walks back towards us – I assume having completed his press conference. I can’t help myself… “Dimma you beauty!” I yell as he approaches. I offer my hand as he passes, he smiles and shakes it. Good day at the office.
Seven in a row. Can you believe it? The road warriors do it again. I love this team.