I read this and went to Ferguson Plarre on the way home for a snot block....but they were closed.
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IMPORTANT // Please look after your loved ones, yourself and be kind to others. If you are feeling that the world is too hard to handle there is always help - I implore you not to hesitate in contacting one of these wonderful organisations Lifeline and Beyond Blue ... and I'm sure reaching out to our PRE community we will find a way to help. T.
Neil Balme - Bring him back
- Thread starter realtiger
- Start date
Meanwhile, down at PRO Tigers HQ, in Neil Balme's office on the second floor, Balmey sits behind his desk chewing furiously on a pencil.
Neil Balm (NB): Aaaarrrggghh! I can't *smile* concentrate.
*NB hammers on the intercom button on his desk phone*
NB: Simon? Simon? Simon!!!!!!
Intercon: Murfle wab?
NB: Go get me a six pack of vanilla slices. Now!
Intercom: Fargle moorf lonoble stuuurp craas.... Blorgle worp.
NB: I don't care what the dietician said. Get me my vanilla slices!
Intercom: Buffle ninge snorkl
NB: You want me to come out there and explain in person?
Intercom: Norp!
NB: Good!
*silence as Balmey continues to chew on his pencil*
*suddenly there is a the sound of furniture being moved around outside the office with a few bangs and bumps on the office door*
NB: What the *smile*?
*NB pushes the intercom button on his desk phone again*
NB: Simon? Simon? What is going on out there!!!!!!
Intercon: Werfle vurp shoonegab kale salad
NB: That's it - I'm coming out and if I see a hint of kale salad and a distinct lack of vanilla slices there will be consequences!!!
Intercom: Esac vuurp snoogle blart... Famble groink
NB: You bastards are gonna cop it
*Balmey stands up and marches over to his office door and pushes on it*
*the door opens about 15 centimeters and is stopped by something on the other side*
*Balmey squints through the gap and he see filing cabinets and a large desk blocking his door from opening*
*behind the pile of furniture he can see his assistant, Simon, holding a plastic bowl covered with e see-through plastic lid in one hand, and a bamboo fork and napkin in the other*
NB: Is that a Kale salad my boy?
Simon: *nervously* Yes sir! Your dietician said you couldn't have vanilla slices any more and you had to eat heathy snacks instead.
NB: I'm gonna start ripping arms off people, Simon.
Simon: *takes deep breath and gathers his courage* I think that might be against our anti-bullying policy, Mr Balme.
NB: *smile* anti-bullying policy. I miss the old days where you could rip off someone's arm and then use it to beat the possums in the rafters to death.
Simon: *nervously extends his hands with the salad and fork, plus napkin toward Balmey* Your salad, sir?
NB: *grabs the salad, fork and napkin and pulls the door closed and stomps back to his desk where he sits down and rips the cover off the bowl*
NB: *Stares malevolently at the green abomination in front of him and stabs it with the fork*
NB: *Lifts up the green kale and takes a bite then looks back in the bowl*
At the base of the bowl is a square package wrapped in grease proof paper.
NB: *Lifts the square package out and unwraps it to reveal a single vanilla slice*
*NB pushes the intercom button on his desk phone a third time*
NB: Simon?
Intercon: Dingle wop?
NB: Good lad! Good lad!
Intercom: Yiffle womple, mirf!
Neil Balm (NB): Aaaarrrggghh! I can't *smile* concentrate.
*NB hammers on the intercom button on his desk phone*
NB: Simon? Simon? Simon!!!!!!
Intercon: Murfle wab?
NB: Go get me a six pack of vanilla slices. Now!
Intercom: Fargle moorf lonoble stuuurp craas.... Blorgle worp.
NB: I don't care what the dietician said. Get me my vanilla slices!
Intercom: Buffle ninge snorkl
NB: You want me to come out there and explain in person?
Intercom: Norp!
NB: Good!
*silence as Balmey continues to chew on his pencil*
*suddenly there is a the sound of furniture being moved around outside the office with a few bangs and bumps on the office door*
NB: What the *smile*?
*NB pushes the intercom button on his desk phone again*
NB: Simon? Simon? What is going on out there!!!!!!
Intercon: Werfle vurp shoonegab kale salad
NB: That's it - I'm coming out and if I see a hint of kale salad and a distinct lack of vanilla slices there will be consequences!!!
Intercom: Esac vuurp snoogle blart... Famble groink
NB: You bastards are gonna cop it
*Balmey stands up and marches over to his office door and pushes on it*
*the door opens about 15 centimeters and is stopped by something on the other side*
*Balmey squints through the gap and he see filing cabinets and a large desk blocking his door from opening*
*behind the pile of furniture he can see his assistant, Simon, holding a plastic bowl covered with e see-through plastic lid in one hand, and a bamboo fork and napkin in the other*
NB: Is that a Kale salad my boy?
Simon: *nervously* Yes sir! Your dietician said you couldn't have vanilla slices any more and you had to eat heathy snacks instead.
NB: I'm gonna start ripping arms off people, Simon.
Simon: *takes deep breath and gathers his courage* I think that might be against our anti-bullying policy, Mr Balme.
NB: *smile* anti-bullying policy. I miss the old days where you could rip off someone's arm and then use it to beat the possums in the rafters to death.
Simon: *nervously extends his hands with the salad and fork, plus napkin toward Balmey* Your salad, sir?
NB: *grabs the salad, fork and napkin and pulls the door closed and stomps back to his desk where he sits down and rips the cover off the bowl*
NB: *Stares malevolently at the green abomination in front of him and stabs it with the fork*
NB: *Lifts up the green kale and takes a bite then looks back in the bowl*
At the base of the bowl is a square package wrapped in grease proof paper.
NB: *Lifts the square package out and unwraps it to reveal a single vanilla slice*
*NB pushes the intercom button on his desk phone a third time*
NB: Simon?
Intercon: Dingle wop?
NB: Good lad! Good lad!
Intercom: Yiffle womple, mirf!
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Bennnny
Punt Road End. The best place to watch The Tiges.
Lets hope Balmey gets back to doing what he is known for - providing calm and guidance in the face of adversity. I hope he still is playing a big part behind the scenes and its not left to just Livingstone to sort this out.
Yes hopefully Balmey is providing some guidance. It has been an amazing run winning three in four years. I never thought I would see such sustained success. There are some critical decisions to be made at the end of this year. The reality is none of the kids like RCD, Naish and Ross have been able to step up and grab there chances. I think if we just keep taking our picks and don't trade in any A grade mids we will be heading for a period in the bottom four. The last two weeks have been dog ordinary and our older players like Jack, Edwards, Cotch, Houli, Astbury aren't going to get any better.
It might be that we need a few years of pain so we can draft the next Cotch and Dusty. I think it's clear now the current kids aren't going to be able to replace our guns (As you would expect given they were mostly late first round picks or worse). We like to bag Geelong but they have been in and around the top four for the last fifteen years. I hope we don't go back to being irrelevant for a long period of time. The last two weeks have been incredibly hard to watch. I had almost forgotten what it was like to watch a rabble play like they have been the last two weeks.
It might be that we need a few years of pain so we can draft the next Cotch and Dusty. I think it's clear now the current kids aren't going to be able to replace our guns (As you would expect given they were mostly late first round picks or worse). We like to bag Geelong but they have been in and around the top four for the last fifteen years. I hope we don't go back to being irrelevant for a long period of time. The last two weeks have been incredibly hard to watch. I had almost forgotten what it was like to watch a rabble play like they have been the last two weeks.
I think he clearly has one foot out the door into retirement
I just hope livingstone and hartley can make the tough calls and don't let Dimma have too much influence..
I think they have already got it wrong by letting houli go one more year causing us to lose markov
I just hope livingstone and hartley can make the tough calls and don't let Dimma have too much influence..
I think they have already got it wrong by letting houli go one more year causing us to lose markov
Refer to “The Last Dance” documentary. The GOAT himself put it best.
“We’re entitle to defend what we have until we lose it. If we lose it then you look at it and say let’s change…”
Houli and others earned the right to go around again.
He was crook 12 or so months ago, he is off the cream buns & the beer & looks skinny & gaunt
I saw him at PRO a few weeks back, he's really lost a lot of weight so looks gaunt, but I just put it down to the diet he's on.
Thanks for everything Balmey. .... we still love you!
(Wishing you good health and zero success at the crows.)
The first thing he should do when he gets there, is give Tex Walker a backhander.
Best of the best , the little hobbo is off again to save another club .
We can’t thank this great man enough
We can’t thank this great man enough
Came from Adelaide originally.
Really sorry to see him leave but all the best Balmey.
Really sorry to see him leave but all the best Balmey.
Last week he confirmed he was going nowhere.
I’ll believe it when Caro confirms he’s leaving because of Hardwick
I’ll believe it when Caro confirms he’s leaving because of Hardwick
This!!!! Been wondering the same thing. Leppitsch , McRae, Balme.
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Round 4 - The Other Cheese Sandwich Games
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