After the Pt v Geel game we've all seen that the Port form is suspect. So how did they destroy us?
There was a game against StKilda in 2017. We were Fitzroy. Beaten morally 20 goals by a nobody.
We were better that night than we were against PtA last round.
At the time some may have thought we were playing a final four side but eh. You saw them against Geelong. You saw them against Brisbane. They are uncompetitive. The formguide shows them struggling against battlers. The ladder flatters them and here's why-
They have the worst available back six of any club in the top 16.
Tom Clurey. He is very constructive and plays smart in defending, leaving an opponent in space and closing effectively. In front he is a victim against AFL players. But he can time his D and fold off to receive or gather, hitting the smart target by foot when in space.
Grimes is bigger than him. Grimes is an elite small. Even Grimes struggles against actual AFL talls. Clurey is a non event.
Jonas is the captain. So he's the #1 back? Where do you hide him when Tomahawk is on the park? Does he get hotdogs for the important players? Why doesn't he go to Tomahawk? To be fair he's very good #3 back. Clurey is just a *smile*.
This side has no #1 back. Which other side in the top 16 has no full back?
Richmond with 24 (Fitzroy number) I50s scores 11.6. What? That can't happen. Our tall forwards kicked six from 24 I50s.
Jacob Lienert? Dropped after that game. He wouldn't be on (who's sixteenth?) Carlton's list. Trent McKenzie. He's doing ok. Makeshift tall with determination. Integral to a plan for failure in the big city.
Clurey. Jonas. McKenzie. Worst B1-3 in the game. Hopeless. Lepers. And they let Dougal Howard go? Starting to smell like Adelaide.
I can see the emphasis on use. But defenders have to have the equipment for defence. Dougal Howard can't use? At least he's over 5'11". carltonlol
The small backs.
DBJ = OK. Of course, he's undersized but he's busy. His numbers are down from 2019 pro rata. But he's one you keep.
Dan Houston. Just watch him. Another player they're hiding? They should. Not a tall. Not a small. He specialises in peach blossom upon the half back cheek. Mops but does not attack. Gets there but does not defend. Some kind of Supercoach player. Got 1.3 Nano-hearth-roger at the Rofflestone. This bloke is not real. Blame the coach. Blame the club. And then trade. Or disavow all delusion and delist.
Hartlett. If the Port backline was no *smile* good at all, and it is at least that bad, wouldn't the bloke on 800k at least be conspicuous? Wear a big gold chain? Gram virtue signals from the back of the media box? Carry a gun? Openly and consensually fellate Mabior Chol? Drive a Lamborghini to the pie boy? Get a kick?
Hartlett. Is he one of the good ones?
Bonner? No.
No.
Ryan Whatsisname from Hawthorn. Not tall. Not small. Dumb. Rushed. Injured. He's probably the best of them if he can be coached.
This is not a Premiership Back VI. Maybe not a Final VIII back lambda delta ipsilon McGyver.
We had a Burge. We were *smile* useless. And scored 11.6 from 24 I50s because his back omega is SANFL class.
We'll get to the midfield later.
There was a game against StKilda in 2017. We were Fitzroy. Beaten morally 20 goals by a nobody.
We were better that night than we were against PtA last round.
At the time some may have thought we were playing a final four side but eh. You saw them against Geelong. You saw them against Brisbane. They are uncompetitive. The formguide shows them struggling against battlers. The ladder flatters them and here's why-
They have the worst available back six of any club in the top 16.
Tom Clurey. He is very constructive and plays smart in defending, leaving an opponent in space and closing effectively. In front he is a victim against AFL players. But he can time his D and fold off to receive or gather, hitting the smart target by foot when in space.
Grimes is bigger than him. Grimes is an elite small. Even Grimes struggles against actual AFL talls. Clurey is a non event.
Jonas is the captain. So he's the #1 back? Where do you hide him when Tomahawk is on the park? Does he get hotdogs for the important players? Why doesn't he go to Tomahawk? To be fair he's very good #3 back. Clurey is just a *smile*.
This side has no #1 back. Which other side in the top 16 has no full back?
Richmond with 24 (Fitzroy number) I50s scores 11.6. What? That can't happen. Our tall forwards kicked six from 24 I50s.
Jacob Lienert? Dropped after that game. He wouldn't be on (who's sixteenth?) Carlton's list. Trent McKenzie. He's doing ok. Makeshift tall with determination. Integral to a plan for failure in the big city.
Clurey. Jonas. McKenzie. Worst B1-3 in the game. Hopeless. Lepers. And they let Dougal Howard go? Starting to smell like Adelaide.
I can see the emphasis on use. But defenders have to have the equipment for defence. Dougal Howard can't use? At least he's over 5'11". carltonlol
The small backs.
DBJ = OK. Of course, he's undersized but he's busy. His numbers are down from 2019 pro rata. But he's one you keep.
Dan Houston. Just watch him. Another player they're hiding? They should. Not a tall. Not a small. He specialises in peach blossom upon the half back cheek. Mops but does not attack. Gets there but does not defend. Some kind of Supercoach player. Got 1.3 Nano-hearth-roger at the Rofflestone. This bloke is not real. Blame the coach. Blame the club. And then trade. Or disavow all delusion and delist.
Hartlett. If the Port backline was no *smile* good at all, and it is at least that bad, wouldn't the bloke on 800k at least be conspicuous? Wear a big gold chain? Gram virtue signals from the back of the media box? Carry a gun? Openly and consensually fellate Mabior Chol? Drive a Lamborghini to the pie boy? Get a kick?
Hartlett. Is he one of the good ones?
Bonner? No.
No.
Ryan Whatsisname from Hawthorn. Not tall. Not small. Dumb. Rushed. Injured. He's probably the best of them if he can be coached.
This is not a Premiership Back VI. Maybe not a Final VIII back lambda delta ipsilon McGyver.
We had a Burge. We were *smile* useless. And scored 11.6 from 24 I50s because his back omega is SANFL class.
We'll get to the midfield later.
