For those of you that prefer a PRE view of "Sliding Doors".
Adelaide
If – the clowns running the Football Department are still there, you’ve had three very poor years of on field performance, and now Crouch, Hartigan and Atkins want out…….
Then - it's about time you sacked a heap of dead wood. Start with Ricciuto
Brisbane
If - you had a very good 2020, aided by the Queensland hub and lots of home games
Then – next year the draw will be harder and you’ll have to travel again. Expect to fall back a bit. Daniher is a crock and Charlie’s motorbike will be hard to start.
Carlton
If - you think Eddie Betts’ Zimmer frame and Saad The Headless Chook are the answer
Then - Dream On. Too many GWS rejects and too many targeted recruits that aren’t capable of what you think they should do. Bring back SOS!
Collingwood
If – you’ve been shopping a number of contracted players around during the trade period but determined to hang on to an overpriced, (alleged) sexual predator, and now your club is being sued by an ex player for racial abuse
Then - Maybe Figgy lost that page of the Richmond manifesto? One day, the great unwashed membership will wake up to Fat Ed and his Boy’s Club and it’s toxic ways
Essendon
If – your departing coach told you that there are real problems in the club
Then - sorry. Can't see the next short-term fix doing anything different. How many days since you last won a final??????
Fremantle
If – you’ve got a couple of good young ‘uns (and some look pretty good)
Then – making the eight should be your 2021 benchmark
Geelol
If - you won a Prelim. Congratulations, but
Then - See that cliff???? Look down. That’s the Crows and Giants in a heap down there. Next!
Gold Coast
If - you start out the 2020 season with a few good wins, only to fall away again
Then - expect more of the same in 2021. You do it EVERY year
GWS
If - you went the same way as the Crows after Richmond sorted them 2017
Then – you’re going to have a few more years of hurting. Expect a few more good players to jump quickly. You are a plastic team with no soul.
Hawthorn
If – your list looks that old and that slow
Then – change your name to The Ducks. You guys are flying South next winter
Melbourne
If - you had one decent player in 2020 in Petracca, the rest played like a bunch of drongos. Even Max Gawn seemed a shadow of himself
Then – you are in serious trouble (again). If fatty Petracca gets back on momma’s lasagne he’ll revert back to the unfit spud he’s been since he was drafted. Soft as butter. Next!
Norda Melbun
If – Sorry? Who? Oh, The Fishermen!
Then - you got more chance of landing a big one by throwing berley off the end of Station Pier. You guys don't know sh!t about fishing. Next stop – Tassie or Gold Coast. Make a decision. Oh, and what you did to Shaw was a disgrace.
Port Adelaide
If – you had everything laid out for you, slept in your own beds, got a home final in a stadium full of your ferals, and you still lost to The Tigers
Then – you got work to do
Richmond
If – you lived in a hub for >100 days, lost a bunch of key players to injuries or left some behind in Melbourne for family reasons, if the media beat up every minor indiscretion so as to create pressure on the club (and get clicks), and through it all you go B2B and win the 2020 Premiership
Then – Life’s good at the Tigers right now. If Richmond get Stack and CCJ firing next year, and debut RCD, the competition needs to look out for 2021. Bring on B2B2B and No. 14.
St Kilda
If – you brought a few players in and made the finals. Congrats on that, but
Then - you should be a bit better next year, but we’re talking about St Kilda. What’s that tune by Status Quo? Down Down?
Sydney
If – you tried to get Daniher because you know that Buddy is on last legs.
Then –Not much left in Sydney from where I sit.
Wet Coke
If – you play like champs at home and chumps away
Then – you’ve got work to do between their ears, and you’ll still have to play the Tigers on the MCG
Western Bulldogs
If – you picked up a few B graders
Then – you have a good list. You really should get in the top 4. Anything less is a failure.
And.........................
AFL
If - you have more rule changes in mind, and we know you always do
Then - expect more and more of football loving fans to get totally sick to death of the constant tinkering, inconsistent umpiring and maddeningly inconsistent decisions by the Match Review clown, expect a reduction in crowds.
That said, kudos for getting the game through the 2020 season, made so much harder by the incompetence of Chairman Dan and his crooked cronies.
The Football Media
If – you think we give a stuff about what you think or your ridiculous click bait
Then – you’re even more delusional than we thought. We’ve stopped listening.
Adelaide
If – the clowns running the Football Department are still there, you’ve had three very poor years of on field performance, and now Crouch, Hartigan and Atkins want out…….
Then - it's about time you sacked a heap of dead wood. Start with Ricciuto
Brisbane
If - you had a very good 2020, aided by the Queensland hub and lots of home games
Then – next year the draw will be harder and you’ll have to travel again. Expect to fall back a bit. Daniher is a crock and Charlie’s motorbike will be hard to start.
Carlton
If - you think Eddie Betts’ Zimmer frame and Saad The Headless Chook are the answer
Then - Dream On. Too many GWS rejects and too many targeted recruits that aren’t capable of what you think they should do. Bring back SOS!
Collingwood
If – you’ve been shopping a number of contracted players around during the trade period but determined to hang on to an overpriced, (alleged) sexual predator, and now your club is being sued by an ex player for racial abuse
Then - Maybe Figgy lost that page of the Richmond manifesto? One day, the great unwashed membership will wake up to Fat Ed and his Boy’s Club and it’s toxic ways
Essendon
If – your departing coach told you that there are real problems in the club
Then - sorry. Can't see the next short-term fix doing anything different. How many days since you last won a final??????
Fremantle
If – you’ve got a couple of good young ‘uns (and some look pretty good)
Then – making the eight should be your 2021 benchmark
Geelol
If - you won a Prelim. Congratulations, but
Then - See that cliff???? Look down. That’s the Crows and Giants in a heap down there. Next!
Gold Coast
If - you start out the 2020 season with a few good wins, only to fall away again
Then - expect more of the same in 2021. You do it EVERY year
GWS
If - you went the same way as the Crows after Richmond sorted them 2017
Then – you’re going to have a few more years of hurting. Expect a few more good players to jump quickly. You are a plastic team with no soul.
Hawthorn
If – your list looks that old and that slow
Then – change your name to The Ducks. You guys are flying South next winter
Melbourne
If - you had one decent player in 2020 in Petracca, the rest played like a bunch of drongos. Even Max Gawn seemed a shadow of himself
Then – you are in serious trouble (again). If fatty Petracca gets back on momma’s lasagne he’ll revert back to the unfit spud he’s been since he was drafted. Soft as butter. Next!
Norda Melbun
If – Sorry? Who? Oh, The Fishermen!
Then - you got more chance of landing a big one by throwing berley off the end of Station Pier. You guys don't know sh!t about fishing. Next stop – Tassie or Gold Coast. Make a decision. Oh, and what you did to Shaw was a disgrace.
Port Adelaide
If – you had everything laid out for you, slept in your own beds, got a home final in a stadium full of your ferals, and you still lost to The Tigers
Then – you got work to do
Richmond
If – you lived in a hub for >100 days, lost a bunch of key players to injuries or left some behind in Melbourne for family reasons, if the media beat up every minor indiscretion so as to create pressure on the club (and get clicks), and through it all you go B2B and win the 2020 Premiership
Then – Life’s good at the Tigers right now. If Richmond get Stack and CCJ firing next year, and debut RCD, the competition needs to look out for 2021. Bring on B2B2B and No. 14.
St Kilda
If – you brought a few players in and made the finals. Congrats on that, but
Then - you should be a bit better next year, but we’re talking about St Kilda. What’s that tune by Status Quo? Down Down?
Sydney
If – you tried to get Daniher because you know that Buddy is on last legs.
Then –Not much left in Sydney from where I sit.
Wet Coke
If – you play like champs at home and chumps away
Then – you’ve got work to do between their ears, and you’ll still have to play the Tigers on the MCG
Western Bulldogs
If – you picked up a few B graders
Then – you have a good list. You really should get in the top 4. Anything less is a failure.
And.........................
AFL
If - you have more rule changes in mind, and we know you always do
Then - expect more and more of football loving fans to get totally sick to death of the constant tinkering, inconsistent umpiring and maddeningly inconsistent decisions by the Match Review clown, expect a reduction in crowds.
That said, kudos for getting the game through the 2020 season, made so much harder by the incompetence of Chairman Dan and his crooked cronies.
The Football Media
If – you think we give a stuff about what you think or your ridiculous click bait
Then – you’re even more delusional than we thought. We’ve stopped listening.
