The Very Secret Dairy of Aragorn, son of Arathorn Part Three
Day One: Talked to a tree, must do something about these hallucinations what with trees and Arwen. Saruman took a dive- v. nasty.
Day Three: Typical bloody hobbit, had to look in that ball thingy. The big G’s gone off again on his faffing horse, a real nosy parker that one. Stubble ok, hair needs a comb.
Theodon’s a king and I’m not.
Day Five: Was having a quiet joint when all hell broke loose, am off again to save the world, Legolas and Gimli tagged along, am getting sick of looking dirty around that prissy elf. At least Gimli’s no Brad Pitt.
Day Six: Elrond showed up. Gave me a new sword and told me to take a hike. Seems I’m not good enough for his little girl unless I’m a King. Duh!
Gave Eowyn the brush off, v. v. intense.
Day Eight: Ran into a bunch of zombie types while we were poking around underground. Seems I might be king after all although would prefer a more substantial following. V. dirty and stubble lookin’ good.
Day Ten: Gondor. Hitched a ride on a boat (ship?), anyway arrived to find potential kingdom in a spot of bother, zombie friends cleaned ‘em up. Would you believe that Eowyn girl, dissed the bad guy? Gees, everyone’s a hero.
Still not king but.
Day Twelve: Shower and new outfit. (Where’s Carson K when you need him?) Even got my hair done. Wouldn’t let them touch the stubble though, man’s gotta have SOME principles.
Think I look like king now.
Day Eleven: Gandalf still calling the shots, maybe he’s the king?
Here we go again……still, I do look rather good in this clobber
Day Thirteen: Black Gate. More orcs, more hewing and slaying, Plenty of brooding. Speech was good I thought, kingly. Suddenly things went dark, lots of cheering. Thought maybe I was king till they told me Frodo had up and rearranged Sauron’s tower. Hair suitably messed up again tho. Stubble bit bloody. Feel v. manly.
I’ll never be king…..
Day Sixteen: Frodo a hero. Sam a hero. Eowyn likes Faramir’s stubble better. Theodon’s out for the count. Legolas, the Dwarf and Gandy are grinning.
And I’m KING!!!!
Day One: Talked to a tree, must do something about these hallucinations what with trees and Arwen. Saruman took a dive- v. nasty.
Day Three: Typical bloody hobbit, had to look in that ball thingy. The big G’s gone off again on his faffing horse, a real nosy parker that one. Stubble ok, hair needs a comb.
Theodon’s a king and I’m not.
Day Five: Was having a quiet joint when all hell broke loose, am off again to save the world, Legolas and Gimli tagged along, am getting sick of looking dirty around that prissy elf. At least Gimli’s no Brad Pitt.
Day Six: Elrond showed up. Gave me a new sword and told me to take a hike. Seems I’m not good enough for his little girl unless I’m a King. Duh!
Gave Eowyn the brush off, v. v. intense.
Day Eight: Ran into a bunch of zombie types while we were poking around underground. Seems I might be king after all although would prefer a more substantial following. V. dirty and stubble lookin’ good.
Day Ten: Gondor. Hitched a ride on a boat (ship?), anyway arrived to find potential kingdom in a spot of bother, zombie friends cleaned ‘em up. Would you believe that Eowyn girl, dissed the bad guy? Gees, everyone’s a hero.
Still not king but.
Day Twelve: Shower and new outfit. (Where’s Carson K when you need him?) Even got my hair done. Wouldn’t let them touch the stubble though, man’s gotta have SOME principles.
Think I look like king now.
Day Eleven: Gandalf still calling the shots, maybe he’s the king?
Here we go again……still, I do look rather good in this clobber
Day Thirteen: Black Gate. More orcs, more hewing and slaying, Plenty of brooding. Speech was good I thought, kingly. Suddenly things went dark, lots of cheering. Thought maybe I was king till they told me Frodo had up and rearranged Sauron’s tower. Hair suitably messed up again tho. Stubble bit bloody. Feel v. manly.
I’ll never be king…..
Day Sixteen: Frodo a hero. Sam a hero. Eowyn likes Faramir’s stubble better. Theodon’s out for the count. Legolas, the Dwarf and Gandy are grinning.
And I’m KING!!!!
