GONNA BE A BEAR
In this life I am a woman. In my next life I’d like to come back as a bear.
When you’re a bear you get to hibernate.
You do nothing for six months.
I COULD DEAL WITH THAT!
Before you hibernate, you’re supposed to eat yourself stupid.
I COULD DEAL WITH THAT!
When you’re a girl bear, you birth you babies [who are the size of a walnut] while you’re sleeping
and wake to partially grown cute, cuddly cubs.
I COULD DEFINITELY DEAL WITH THAT!
If you’re a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business.
You swat anyone who bothers your cubs.
If your cubs get out of line, you swat them, too.
I COULD DEAL WITH THAT!
If you’re a bear, your mate expects you to wake up growling.
He expects that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.
. . . . YUP, GONNA BE A BEAR!