By Jake Niall
August 18 2003
Memo: Richmond football department
From: Football director Greg Miller
Date: August 17, 2003
Boys, that was terrible. Better than the St Kilda debacle, yes, but still awful. I'm glad Tommy Hafey wasn't there, because we actually had more of the ball than Essendon and mucked around with it horribly (Tommy, as you know, hates indirect footy more than wearing a suit). Richo had it 28 times, which didn't help.
The sad part is that the boys actually had a crack and did pretty well in the contested situations. Our skill level, as you know, is Carlton-esque. We've got too many blokes who can't kick, or fumble and a stack who make stupid decisions.
Not that we should talk. This club has made more clangers than any other over the past 20 years - the record proves it. St Kilda was close, but they were so bad, they've now become dangerously good. That's how the draft works. If you're really bad, you've got no worries, so long as you don't stuff up the picks. I think we'll have pick six or seven and we can't afford to stuff it up this time and pick someone like Pettifer.
Gentlemen, we have some serious decisions to make on our list. As you know, my report to the board was pretty damning and I recommended what I called "severe pruning" - code for getting rid of about 10 players. The board understand we're stuffed, but they want to know what we'll do in the trading period - some of them are up for election and the supporters want action (read: blood). We have to get moving now.
We can't trade Richo. Gaspar's contract (I can't believe he was signed up for five years!) and knee reco makes him untradeable. As I see it, our most tradeable commodity is Ottens. That's not surprising, because he's our best player. I thought he showed really good signs yesterday, too.
The Bulldogs could give us two or three light-bodied receivers for him and St Kilda would offer their first pick and a half-decent kid, but I can't see a deal in which we could come out ahead. So he has to stay.
Bowden is a tricky one. The supporters want his head on a plate. He's pretty disappointing, Joel, and I think we should look at him. The question is, what currency does he have? He's supposed to be skilful, but everyone now knows he turns it over - and if our supporters have worked it out, I doubt we'll be able to con the smart clubs. Looks like we're stuck with him, unless we give him away or find a dumb/desperate club.
The Adelaide clubs might consider Fiora, particularly Adelaide, who like to get Croweaters back. He did OK yesterday in the back line and I think we can still get a first-round pick. Certainly, we've got about four or five outside left-footers and we should get rid of at least one in exchange for a player who can give Coughlan some help (Memo Danny: the poor young bloke is starting to look like Buckley did when you were at Collingwood).
Really, when you look at this crappy list, our cap should be 95 per cent or less. Some of these blokes get more than Brent Harvey and Glenn Archer! I've already spoken to some of the senior players about cuts. Thank God some overpaid ones are out of contract.
Yours, in the jungle, Greg.
P.S. Don't show this to any board members or, indeed, to anyone else, especially those vultures in the media. Enough said.
August 18 2003
Memo: Richmond football department
From: Football director Greg Miller
Date: August 17, 2003
Boys, that was terrible. Better than the St Kilda debacle, yes, but still awful. I'm glad Tommy Hafey wasn't there, because we actually had more of the ball than Essendon and mucked around with it horribly (Tommy, as you know, hates indirect footy more than wearing a suit). Richo had it 28 times, which didn't help.
The sad part is that the boys actually had a crack and did pretty well in the contested situations. Our skill level, as you know, is Carlton-esque. We've got too many blokes who can't kick, or fumble and a stack who make stupid decisions.
Not that we should talk. This club has made more clangers than any other over the past 20 years - the record proves it. St Kilda was close, but they were so bad, they've now become dangerously good. That's how the draft works. If you're really bad, you've got no worries, so long as you don't stuff up the picks. I think we'll have pick six or seven and we can't afford to stuff it up this time and pick someone like Pettifer.
Gentlemen, we have some serious decisions to make on our list. As you know, my report to the board was pretty damning and I recommended what I called "severe pruning" - code for getting rid of about 10 players. The board understand we're stuffed, but they want to know what we'll do in the trading period - some of them are up for election and the supporters want action (read: blood). We have to get moving now.
We can't trade Richo. Gaspar's contract (I can't believe he was signed up for five years!) and knee reco makes him untradeable. As I see it, our most tradeable commodity is Ottens. That's not surprising, because he's our best player. I thought he showed really good signs yesterday, too.
The Bulldogs could give us two or three light-bodied receivers for him and St Kilda would offer their first pick and a half-decent kid, but I can't see a deal in which we could come out ahead. So he has to stay.
Bowden is a tricky one. The supporters want his head on a plate. He's pretty disappointing, Joel, and I think we should look at him. The question is, what currency does he have? He's supposed to be skilful, but everyone now knows he turns it over - and if our supporters have worked it out, I doubt we'll be able to con the smart clubs. Looks like we're stuck with him, unless we give him away or find a dumb/desperate club.
The Adelaide clubs might consider Fiora, particularly Adelaide, who like to get Croweaters back. He did OK yesterday in the back line and I think we can still get a first-round pick. Certainly, we've got about four or five outside left-footers and we should get rid of at least one in exchange for a player who can give Coughlan some help (Memo Danny: the poor young bloke is starting to look like Buckley did when you were at Collingwood).
Really, when you look at this crappy list, our cap should be 95 per cent or less. Some of these blokes get more than Brent Harvey and Glenn Archer! I've already spoken to some of the senior players about cuts. Thank God some overpaid ones are out of contract.
Yours, in the jungle, Greg.
P.S. Don't show this to any board members or, indeed, to anyone else, especially those vultures in the media. Enough said.
