For everyone who has to work with THE PUBLIC....... | PUNT ROAD END | Richmond Tigers Forum
  • IMPORTANT // Please look after your loved ones, yourself and be kind to others. If you are feeling that the world is too hard to handle there is always help - I implore you not to hesitate in contacting one of these wonderful organisations Lifeline and Beyond Blue ... and I'm sure reaching out to our PRE community we will find a way to help. T.

For everyone who has to work with THE PUBLIC.......

T

Tigerclan

Tiger Champion
Jan 22, 2005
4,006
7
Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?".

  Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?".

  Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre".

  Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours".





  Samsung Electronics

  Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"

  Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about".

  Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from

           the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?"

  Operator: "I think you mean the telephone point on the wall".





  RAC Motoring Services

  Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia?"

  Operator: Doesn't the product give you a clue?

  Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France): "If I register my car in France, do I

             have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?"





  Directory Enquiries

  Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please".

  Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?"

  Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off".





  Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.

  Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"

  Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland".





  On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box

  told a worried operator: "I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the

  window to write the number on".





  Computer Capers

  Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop".

  Customer: "OK".

  Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?".

  Customer: "No".

  Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"

  Customer: "No".

  Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?".

  Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'".





  Tech Support: "OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"

  Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"





  Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock

               back two weeks will I have my file back again?".





There's always one. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a

recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause". Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):



Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"

Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

Operator: "What sort of trouble??"

Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."

Operator: "Went away?"

Caller: "They disappeared."

Operator: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

Caller: "Nothing."

Operator: "Nothing??"

Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"

Caller: "How do I tell?"

Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??"

Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"

Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"

Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"

Caller: "What's a monitor?"

Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when

                 it's on??"

Caller: "I don't know."

Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you

                 see that??"

Caller: "Yes, I think so."

Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.

Caller: "Yes, it is."

Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the

                  back of it, not just one??"

Caller: "No."

Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

Caller: "Okay, here it is."

Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."

Caller: "I can't reach."

Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??"

Caller: "No."

Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??"

Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."

Operator: "Dark??"

Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."

Caller: "I can't."

Operator: "No? Why not??"

Caller: "Because there's a power failure."

Operator: "A power... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and

                  manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??"

Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then

                   take it back to the store you bought it from."

Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"

Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."

Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??"

Operator: "Tell them you're too f*%king stupid to own a computer."
 
Bloke comes into the shop and starts browsing the aisles. Decide to give him a few moments before seeing if he needs any assistance. Then he comes over.

"Excuse me, do you work here?"

What I said: "Yes."

What I was thinking: "No, I'm wearing this company shirt since it's the height of fashion and I'm sweeping the floor for my own amusement."
 
1. Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the flood of calls asking where the "Any" key is.

2. AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.

3. Another Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining that the system wouldn't read word processing files from his old diskettes. After trouble-shooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer labeled the diskettes then rolled them into the typewriter to type the labels.

4. Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with Xeroxed copies of the floppies.

5. A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy back in the drive and close the door. The customer asked the tech to hold on, and was heard putting the phone down, getting up and crossing the room to close the door to his room.

6. Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of trouble-shooting, the technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key.

7. Another Dell customer needed help setting up a new program, so a Dell tech suggested he go to the local Egghead. "Yeah, I got me a couple offriends," the customer replied. When told Egghead was a software store, the man said, "Oh, I thought you meant for me to find a couple of geeks."

8. Yet another Dell customer called to complain that his keyboard no longer worked. He had cleaned it by filling up his tub with soap and water and soaking the keyboard for a day, then removing all the keys and washing them individually.

9. A Dell technician received a call from a customer who was enraged because his computer had told him he was "bad and an invalid". The tech explained that the computer's "bad" command and "invalid" responses shouldn't be taken personally.

10. An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on the foot pedal and nothing happens." The "foot pedal" turned out to be the computer's mouse.

11. Another customer called Compaq tech support to say her brand-new computer wouldn't work. She unpacked the unit, plugged it in, and sat there for 20 minutes waiting for something to happen. When asked what happened when she pressed the power switch, she asked "What power switch?"

12. True story from a Novell NetWire SysOp:
Caller: Hello, is this Tech Support
Tech: Yes it is. How may I help you?
Caller: The cup holder on my PC is broken and I am within my
warranty period. How do I go about getting that fixed?
Tech: I'm sorry, but did you say a cup holder?
Caller: Yes, attached to the front of my computer.
Tech: Please excuse me if I seem a bit stumped, it's because I am.
Did you receive this as part of a promotional, at a trade show? How did
you get this cup holder? Does it have any trademark on it?
Caller: It came with my computer, I dont know anything about a
promotional. It just has 4X on it.

At this point, the Tech Rep had to mute the caller, because he couldn't stand it. The caller had been using the load drawer of the CD-ROM drive as a cup holder, and snapped it off the drive!
 
Landing Announcement

The jumbo jet is just coming into Pearson Airport in Toronto on its final approach.

The pilot comes on over the intercom and says, "Ladies and gentlemen. This is Capt. Johnson speaking. We're on our final descent into Toronto. I want to thank you for flying with us today, and I hope you enjoy your stay in Toronto."

Unknowingly, the pilot forgets to switch off the intercom and the entire plane can now hear the conversation in the cockpit.

The co-pilot says to the pilot, "Well, Captain, what are you gonna do here in Toronto?"

By now, all ears in the plane are listening in to this conversation.

"Well," says the Captain, "First, I'm gonna check into the hotel and take a nice, long crap. Then I'm gonna take that new stewardess out for supper. You know, the cute one with the huge boobs. I'm gonna wine and dine her, then take her back to my room, and then I'm gonna make love to her all night long."

Everyone in the plane is trying to get a look at the new stewardess.

She's so embarrassed, she runs from the back of the plane to get to the cockpit to turn the intercom off.

Halfway down the aisle, she trips over an old lady's bag and down she goes, flat on her face.

The old lady leans over to her and says calmly, "No need to run, dear. He said he's gotta take a *smile* first!"
 
i am a checkout operator and you get great customers and you get nasty customers .
i just wish they realised we were human .
you do get the bad checkout operaters unfortunately as well as good ones .
 
I used to live in Rosebud TG, every summer the poor shopkeepers down there have to put up with a lot of up themselves

folk that are camping on the foreshore. Never seen checkout operators abused quite so openly. I was so shocked listening

to how much better shops were in Camberwell, or kids getting dragged over the coals because they didn't know the answer

to a question.

I do hate bad service, but you are right we are all human, even Hawthorn supporters
 
Ready said:
Bloke comes into the shop and starts browsing the aisles. Decide to give him a few moments before seeing if he needs any assistance. Then he comes over.

"Excuse me, do you work here?"

What I said: "Yes."

What I was thinking: "No, I'm wearing this company shirt since it's the height of fashion and I'm sweeping the floor for my own amusement."
Click to expand...

I used to cop that one all the time. No I don't work here I'm just wearing a kmart t-shirt and a name badge for fun. I like impersonating kmart employees ::)

Another thing that hated, customers walking past a price check machine to ask me a price. Or customers who got angry when I didn't know the price of something. News flash, I don't know the price of every item in the store sheesh.

Some guy tried to get me to ring another store when we were out of stock
Him: (impatiently) Can you ring the campbellfield store for me?
Me: (momentarily dumbfounded) sorry what?
Him: (speaking like he's talking to a two year old) I said could you ring the campbellfield store for me!
Me: (smug response ;D) this IS the campbellfield store.
Him: Oh right, ummm don’t worry then

One of my friends had a lady go up to her at the checkouts carrying a box of xmas lights. Lady puts the box down my friend goes to scan it
Lady: Can I get a discount for these?
My friend: (Checks the box it's all sealed and in good condition nothing damaged) Why do you want a discount there's nothing wrong with it
Lady: Oh because it was the last one on the shelf
::)
Maybe you should pay us more for it seeing it's the last one. Who knows how many people want those lights. We could auction them off and get a better price for them
 
Loved them all everyone :clap :clap :clap :clap

You get some weird ones in the medical/nursing field.
Like the family who asked whether their brain damaged loved one could have a brain transplant.
The number of people who bypass the enquiries desk and land on our ward asking for such and such but they don't know how to spell the name and in some cases don't know the actual name of the person they're looking for.
 
We had a parent once who marched into the Prin's office demanding that something be done about the swimming program/instructors as her "precious" was lefthanded and therefore needed special instruction.
 
Some PREnders might sympathise with these customer complaints:


1. "This wine tastes like vinegar"
(But I thought you liked "very dry" wine! Dry wine is tart, idiot. Next time, let me help you figure out what you mean instead of wasting a $25 bottle of Burgundy.)


2. "She threw my money on the counter instead of handing it to me"
(Yep...And I will continue to do it until you treat me like a real live human being!! If I hold my hand out for the money and you throw it at me you obviously didn't want to touch me, so I am returning the favor!)


3. "I always have trouble when I go through her checkout line but in none of the others."
(Then why don't you go through another line you jerk!)


4. "She yelled at my kids."
(Am I supposed to keep my mouth shut when your kids ask an intelligent question about something?)


5. "He was giving me bad vibes."
(*puts voodoo doll away* No comment.)


6. "He wouldn't change the radio station!"
(It's a staff radio... Therefore, *I* choose not to listen to crap.)


7. "He wouldn't sell me any beer!"
(Uh, we don't sell beer... We're not a liquor store.)


8. "He wouldn't let me use the phone."
(Again, guilty as charged. You'll have to call your girlfriend from home, instead.)


9. "He wouldn't talk to me."
(Guilty as charged. Sorry, guess I'll have to hear about your trip to the proctologist next time.)


10. "He wouldn't buy my $10 worth of pennies."
(Am I a bank? I think not.)
 
And then, of course, there are customers like this:


1. "I've sat through a two hour movie and I did not care for it, I want my money back"
(Talk to film company, maybe they'll cut you a check.)


2. "Yo, my food is all soggy, get me new *smile* now!"
(The tall, fat, drunk man hands me a receipt for his vodka. After pointing out his error he hands me a receipt time stamped at 10:00am and I am on the closing shift now at 10:00pm.)


3. "She wouldn't give me another beer for free when I told her the last on I bought was bad!"
(No receipt, he didn't bring in the 'can of beer' to exchange it, he just wanted a free beer.)


4. "I should not have to pay that much. I am a PhD!"
(Bull. You are only an S.O.B....sorry, I mean Dr. S.O.B.!)


5. "You let me rent this awful movie."
(Hmmm. I guess you are right...I HAVE been neglecting my babysitting duties to you. Tell you what...I won't let you get a refund! All better?)


6. "He looked at me funny!"
(Sorry about that. I will poke out his evil eye when he shows up to work today.)


7. "This is cheaper right down the road"
(Then hop in you little car and go down the road!)


8. "You guys are ripping people off, man."
(Yeah, and all that money goes straight to my pocket! Hooowey, I'm loaded!)


9. "Jesus Christ! Why are your cigarettes so expensive!?"
(Probably because the government figured out that taxing addiction is REALLY profitable.)


10. "She rolled her eyes at me!"
(That's what my sister used to say when we were 3 and 4 years old and she wanted to get me in trouble. . . didn't work then either.)
 
Or like this:


1. “You coughed all over my food.”
(Apparently it's my fault you blew cigarette smoke in my face)


2. "Oh, It's SO hot in here!" (Fanning herself frantically)
(Yes, I know. I've been here for over six hours. How long have you been in the store? And for that matter, when do you plan on leaving?)


3. "The cashier charged me the wrong price for this/these."
(No, the MACHINE rang up the wrong price, or, even way more likely, YOU read the price wrong or bought the wrong item. [This happens 95% of the time, as opposed to there being an error in the computer. The customer is RARELY right in this case.])


4. "Your representative wouldn't cover me under the warranty!"
(That's because your product was made in 1958)


5. "I never called to cancel this account I've never used, I want my money back!"
(Sir, if you didn't call to cancel, we had no idea you didn't want it. Do you think the phone company would give you your money back if you didn't use your phone for a whole year?)


6. "Why do you do your maintenance at this time? (at 3 AM)"
(Because 98% of the customer base is asleep. Join them.)


7. "I should be able to log on at any time! Why do you do maintenance?"
(Because we'd like the computers to keep working, you moron! Otherwise we'd be replacing hardware instead of just maintaining it, and replacing takes longer.)


8. "I can't shop for books when there is music playing in the store"
(That's because you have the attention span of a *smile* monkey you tool.)


9. "Young man, I'm a senior, shouldn't I get a discount?"
(Considering that the majority of wealth is held by people 60 and over, not only am I not going to give you a discount, I'm going to charge you double.)


10. "Your sales associate is rude. He did not take my Nordstroms payment."
(Uh..maam, this is Macy's...)
 
How could I forget the lady going off her nut about a 20 cent price difference. The label had it as $8.60 and it scanned up as $8.80. Boy did she chuck a hissy fit. Demanded to speak to the manager (who was actually in a meeting) and when I told her that ranted and raved that they were always in a meeting and that our store was a disgrace. I just said you can have it for the label price and she still carried on. I'm sure Coles Myer is going to care about losing 20 cents


Would be good if we could ban labels. The amount of people who don’t read the label and demand they get that price for a different item ::) Also the "gentleman" who started threatening me because someone had pushed all the electric blankets over another label so the price was different. When I pointed out it was most likely a customer who did it trying to get one from the back he announced in a loud voice "Oh it's always the customers fault isn't it not the incompetent staff"


Another customer who was waiting for service in hardware a few weeks before Christmas during a massive toy sale. There was about 15 staff on and we were all running around like idiots in toys trying to help everyone. When the call went over the second time I managed to get out of toys and go to the area.

"What took you so long!?"
"I'm sorry we're extremely busy in toys it took me a few moments to move away from the customers down there"
"What you try and get away from the customers! You don't know who I am, I'm a partner of Coles Myer" (or some such rubbish) "I'll be speaking to a manager!"

By this stage another staff member had come down and I just said to her, you help him and walked off. Spotted him going off at the manager about me for at least 20 minutes. After this charming human being had left the manager called me over and goes
"Did you say that when you see a customer needs help you turn your back and walk away?"
"What no! I said it took me awhile to move away from the customers in toys. Did he tell you I said that?"
"Yea and other stuff don't worry the guys a flippin looney, he spent 20 minutes going on and when I suggested he leave and try another store he started going off at me. I know you wouldn't have said that anyway."


My manager once rang me at home to talk to me while I was at work :hihi :doh

Ahh the joys of working at kmart. Geez I miss it .............. NOT!
 
Deleted due to repetition

Something to replace it

Customer: "Now what do I do?"
Tech Support: "What is the prompt on the screen?"
Customer: "It's asking for 'Enter Your Last Name.'"
Tech Support: "Ok, so type in your last name."
Customer: "How do you spell that?"


Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24 hours."
Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"
 
Tonight found it necessary to explain that while the won may constitute legal tender in the Republic of Korea, this is not the case in the Commonwealth of Australia ::)
 
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