Re:Afl team theme songs adjusted for humour (words modified)
http://members.ozemail.com.au/~fatalberton/Songs.htm
Fat Albertons revised theme songs.
Adelaide Crows Club Song
We're the pride of South Australia
The mighty Adelaide Crows
Well, our first six years were failures
And then we jagged two in a row
Full of self-congratulation
The bandwagon ever grows
We're the pride of South Australia
We're the mighty Adelaide Crows
We've got one-hundred thousand members
And a twelve-year waiting list
They sip their wooded chardonnay
Then drive their 4-wheel-drives home pissed
And the umpires are against us
As the free-kick tally shows
Cos they hate us South Australians
And there's a plot against the Crows
Brisbane Lions Club Song
We are the pride of Brisbane Town
We merged with Fitzroy for the cash
For we once were backed by a millionaire
But he lost it all in the crash
He left behind a whopping bill
Went to Mallorca, feeling ill
Dirty schemer, had emphysema
And in the year we won the flag
They put him in a bodybag.
Carlton Blues Club Song
We are the Navy Blues
We will do exactly as we choose
We're the team who makes up our own rules
Because the AFL is run by fools
Their regulations
Cause us frustrations
But litigation
Will make them hear what we are saying
Cos we're the shameless old dark Blues
Collingwood Magpies Club Song
Good old Collingwood forever
Have you got no shame?
A self-promoter for a President
He's a blight upon the game
While the barrackers are scrounging
In their pockets for tram fare
Eddie asks if anyone will join him
"Who Wants to be a Millionaire?"
Essendon Bombers Club Song
See the Bombers go flop, flop!
In the finals again
They were top for so bloody long
They thought they could do nothing wrong
But see the way that they stopped, stopped!
And all their skills disappeared
They started tiring
Well before the siren
Didn't the Bombers *smile* up?
Fremantle Dockers Club Song
Freo, watch us go
Sideways, backwards
Against the flow
No wonder we can't win three in a row
We are the Freo Dockers
VERSE 1
We're amazing then we're shockin'
Our consistency is rotten
We get draft picks but we swap 'em
So we're always near the bottom
And if it wasn't for our lowly West Coast friends.
We'd probably win nothing. Nothing!
VERSE 2
Doc-Doc-Dockers
Show 'em that we're hot
Freo heave ho
Doc-Doc-Dockers
Show 'em that we're not
Oh Dockers, d'oh, d'oh, d'oh
Geelong Club Song
We are Geelong - the poorest team of all
We are Geelong - we're going to the wall
All those years ago when Pyramid collapsed
At least you still had the Cats
But we'll be wound up soon if you don't you come
Down to Shell Sta-di-um
So stand up and fight, remember our position
Stand up and fight, break-even is our mission
Once Buddha changed his name to Whiskas for some cash
We knew we'd done our dash
And when the cheques all bounce, we'll asset strip
And try receivership
Hawthorn Hawks Club Song
We're a sorry lot at Hawthorn
But we're just a bunch of bottle blondes
We've got potential that we don't fulfil
Living on names from the past (at Hawthorn)
Dipper, Dermie, Knights, and Matthews
Buckenara, Michael Tuck
If some of them, or one of them
Could play today for Hawthorn
We'd be back up were we belong
Kangaroos Club Song
Hearts to hearts and hands to hands
We play in front of empty stands
And every week we lose ten-grand
In Canberra and in Melbourne
Out we come, out we come, out we come to play
It doesn't matter where we are, the fans still stay away
Let's try Melbourne, let's try Sydney - let's try a few half-way
One thing's for sure, we're easy-beats when Carey doesn't play
So join in the chorus and tell the world the news
We're not called North Melbourne, we're just the Kangaroos
Poor old North Melbourne, they're gonners you'll agree
North Melbourne is the team that played some games in Syd-a-ney
Melbourne Demons Club Song
In a boardroom coup
At the old red and blue
It's all over, if you speak Hebrew
But he wants to stay at the club he loves
And there's nothing that Joe will not do
And he dreams of Zion
But he hates Gary Lyon
And the MCG board too
Should old alliances be forgot
Keep your eyes on the crafty old Jew
Port Adelaide Power Club Song
Oh, when the Power got in
We thought we would rule
Come on, let's teach those Crows a lesson
Cos we're the Power from Port
But it counted for nought
That we had thirty flags in our possession
And so we stabbed old Jack
In the back, back, back
And said that history here counts for nothing
Sure, it did get us in
But unless we can win
We should stop the huffing and puffing
And now the Category Ones no longer come
It's just the Alberton mob, well, those with jobs
And the heroes are those who on rainy nights
Brave the cold metal seats with their bums clenched tight
And the Port supporters' numbers fall
Early leavers, one and all
Repeat first verse, then: PORT POWER!!!
Richmond Tigers Club Song
Oh, we're from Tigerland
A coach's graveyard, we're from Tigerland
And in fair weather then our coach will wear a grin
But when we need a win
We're right behind him cos we find
The knives go further in
For we're from Tigerland,
We never sack 'em 'til our finals hopes are gone
Since the Tigers of old
It's twenty years in the cold
For we're from Tiger (coach, watch your back)
We're from Tigerland
St. Kilda Saints Club Song
Oh when the Saints, left Moorabin
Oh when the Saints left Moorabin
They said the promised land of Waverley
Would help to bring the fans back in.
But Waverley, was traded in
And then they sacked poor Stan and Tim
And when Blight was shown the window
More memberships were handed in.
Sydney Swans Club Song
Cheer, cheer the red and the white
Moved up to Sydney when money was tight
Warwick Capper sure flew high
And Lockett's fat arse blocked out the sky
But whether the shorts be big or be small
Swans need a star or attendances fall
Now the AFL is hoping
Lockett can coax them in.
West Coast Eagles Club Song
For years they took the best of us
We watched the talent go
So we decided that we'd join them
And make a bit of dough!
CHORUS:
We're the Eagles, West Coast Eagles
And we're here to make you buy
Market dominance, and merchandising
Compared to us Freo are small fry
In 14 years we've had two premierships
And five jumpers as well
But the orange one was tragic
It just wouldn't bloody sell!
CHORUS
So watch out all you Elliots
All you Gutnicks from the East
Perth millionaires might all be bust
But the Eagles board is a hungry beast!
Western Bulldogs Club Song
Sons of bitches
Red white and blue
You'll need twenty stitches
When we're through with you
Bulldogs scratch and bulldogs kick
We do our very worst
And if you play the boys of the old inbreeds
You'll go home in a big, black hearse